A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I get over the girl I love?I met the perfect girl about 10 years ago at the age of 12 and instantly I was in love. Even though we were friendly and I knew she liked me, throughout the next few years I never once asked her out as I was extremely shy and lacked any confidence when it came to girls, but I still could not stop thinking about her. When she moved to another country I knew I had missed my chance, and even when she came back to visit friends I would see her and fall in love over gain. That was years ago - now i have a long term girlfriend and much more confidence, but I've seen her very occasionally and the feelings are all still there, but mixed with the bitter regret at having never taken the chance. I feel like I'm betraying my girlfriend, who although I love dearly and is a wonderful person, I've never had that same overwhelming feeling of perfect love for. And that's what if feels like every time I see and think of her - perfection. We both went our separate ways long ago, and I believe she is getting married. Is there anything I can do for this self inflicted heart ache?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 October 2009):
Friend, there is no 'perfect' person. You have a wonderful girlfriend! If you dump her and go after 'miss perfect', imagine what will happen if it turns out she isn't all that perfect, which will happen. Take that girl off the pedestal. If you can't, at least end it with your girlfriend so she can find a guy who'll be totally committed to her. Personally, I'd focus on the fantastic relationshup you have now.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 October 2009):
 I think you have put this "perfect" girl on a pedestal and you just can't see her feet of clay. You could dump your wonderful girlfriend and try to pursue this "perfect" girl but I think you would soon realize that all this perfection was pretty much just in your imagination. I think it's time to wake up and smell the coffee, Buddy.
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