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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I have decided I want to move out and leave my husband.After 20 years, I can't take it anymore. This is so tragic. I never believed that I couldn't save this marriage. I worked very hard to fix things, but he is passive, I can't do it alone. I'm so afraid to do that. This are the problems: working too much, no affection, doesn't care about anything, being in bad mood. I asked to get help, but he won't. I was obsessed to find solutions, but he won't change. Is there any good advice for my difficult situation, and upcoming future choices? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): You're attention is on the wrong person! Concentrate on you!!! You will never change him. People can't "fix" others. You're the one that has to change. Take a stand! Tell him how you feel and that you're considering leaving. If he doesn't react in a positive way, Do It! Start a new life for yourself. Life is too short to live in misery. There sounds as if there is no unity between you. Couples should be teammates. Working together towards common goals. If that's missing, what do you have? What's keeping you there? Familiarity? I learned the hard way that could be deadly! No relationship is truly better than a bad relationship!
A
female
reader, Ask The Leprechaun  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Does he know you're thinking of leaving? I'd tell him you're seriously considering divorce, hopefully this will be a final wake up call for him, and the two of you may find that the reason the marriage has deteriorated is because there's hardly any communication. IF he's shocked by your warning, then that is probably the case.
If he still doesn't care, you can do better, you deserve someone who appreciates and respects you.
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