A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Dear Aunts and UnclesSo, this is gonna be a silly question but i hope you could answer anyway...Well, there is this guy i met that i really like. We are in the same group of friends (i am new to the group). The thing is i don't know if there is any chance some things we say etc. is flirting. i wish it is but i wanted your opinion since i might be thinking it's flirting just because i have a bit of a crush on him.Usually, when we see each other he talks to me a lot about all sorts of random things and tries to make me laugh a lot. On the other hand, when we talk on Facebook, i almost always talk to him first (which i guess is a bad sign) but he seems happy that i talk to him, uses the :D emoticon a lot and keeps the conversation flowing (like we finish talking about something and then he sends me a video or a song or something to start talking again).Also, he remembers everything we have ever talked about since the day we met, do all guys do that?Another time, i was going to be out of town for about 3 weeks so i told him that i wish he could come with me, my best friend and he bf (his friend) for coffee on the day that i was leaving but he said he had classes and couldn't. Then he came and stayed with us for a couple of hours... And another time my friend kinda stood me up so i texted him asking if he wanted to hang out until she arrived and he said yes but also invited his friend (my friends bf) to come a bit later (my friend was supposed to come too)... Does that mean he didn't want to be alone with me?... My friend has joked twice about how me and him would make a good couple, the first time he jokingly said "yeah!" doing the "success kid" pose (he is a really funny guy) and the next time we all just laughed... Also he keeps making references on my breasts (they are kinda big) but i don't know why, he doesn't do that with other girls. And we were talking about something and said he is a "faceman" (not a boobsman or an a*sman)...The thing is i am a bit fat, even though everyone compliments me on the great face i have, so i don't see how a handsome, smart, funny guy (who has many girls drooling over him) could be attracted to me... He says he doesn't like girls who are showing off how hot they are but i don't really know what kind of girls he likes as i have only heard some ex references from him ( like "my ex used to like that too","sorry i do that, my ex hated it i hope you don't mind" etc.) and he hasn't talked about any girl he likes or just think is hot in front of me at all, so i don't really know his "type"...i think he likes me as a person, he has told me "i like you" once or twice, he smiles to me a lot, pets my head, randomly pokes my nose, lets me finish his drink cuz he "likes me" as he said, makes "if you know what i mean" jokes about himself to me, he likes me massaging him, stays out extra late when i'm around, usually comes when i invite him to hang out with me and my friend (but he usually brings one of his friends too :/ ) so i don't think he likes me as a girl but i don't know.... any thoughts?Sorry for the long post but i just wanted an outside opinion on the matter and i trust the Aunts and Uncles because i know they always give good advice to everyone and with the best intentions. Thanks for reading!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2013): Just a bit of an insight in regards to weight and attraction,I am complimented as being an "attractive" girl.My partner is quiet overweight. He needs to loose at least 30kg before he is even close to his ideal healthy weight. As much as i worry about his health and constantly encourage him to start becoming in control of his weight- at the same time, his an amazing person and who cares what he looks like and what others think because i love him and we're happy!What i'm trying to say, no matter what size you are, if a person doesn't like you for whats on the inside as well, then they are probably shallow and don't deserve you anyway. Be proud of who you are, don't come onto this guy too strong but keep being the amazing person you are and if he has feeling there things might change.
A
male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (25 September 2013):
Sure there is a chance that a handsome guy will like a fat girl. But you did not say how fat you are. Well built or are you super duty? Sorry for the poor comparison. I personally know a beautiful woman who is dating my best friend who is really a nerd and just plain ugly but this couple is doing fine and i was just to dinner with them and they are still going strong after dating for a little over a year. Love can strike in the most unusual places. Again what are you meaning by handsome are we talking about a Ryan Gosling or a Matt Damon type individual? Sure why not. A handsome man could like a fat girl. You must have something planned no? Good luck and i hope things work out for you. Do the best you can and if things work out then you have struck pay-dirt. If it doesn't work out then at least you know you gave it your best shot. Move Forward.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (25 September 2013):
There is no one type, so the only way to know is to put yourself out there and face a possible rejection. A rejection is something everyone, fat or not, has to risk. He certainly seems to like you as a friend, so I'm sure he would be grateful if he didn't want to date you.
FYI, if you are overweight but curvy (hourglass), you'd be surprised at how many guys don't mind that, especially if you have a pretty face.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2013): It's hard to say without knowing how "fat" (as you say) you are. Girls in your age-group exaggerate about their body flaws and for some reason think weight is considered ugly to guys. We all have different tastes and attractions. I just don't think he has any romantic interest in you, aside from your weight.
If you don't have the courage to ask him yourself, you'll have to play it safe for the sake of your feelings; and not to make things awkward between you.
I think the fact he always brings a friend with him when he hangs out with you says a lot. It keeps things jovial and friendly. He likes you as a person, he respects you as a female, and he is affectionate toward you in a platonic way.
He senses your attraction to him, and doesn't wish to lead you on.
He has never asked you out alone. He has never made an outright pass at you, and he doesn't text romantic messages.
That is a clear indication he has little or no romantic interest; and again, I don't think your weight is a factor.
You have developed a crush on him, and wishful thinking makes you highly sensitive to every move he makes in your direction. Your doubt is based on the reality that you may just have a big infatuation for him. You haven't seen any proof to feel he likes you any way, but in a friendly way.
He has a cheerful and playful nature, and your appearance has no affect on him being playfully affectionate in-front of your other friends. He flirts, because he's a guy and you're a girl. It's natural to do that. You're a pretty girl.
If he does feel any romantic interest, he may be concerned about how the others view it. That's not a good sign. He should be outright about his feelings for you, and he shouldn't be too embarrassed to be open about it. You don't want to be with a guy who is ashamed to be with you. That says something bad about him as a person.
Kept your crush under control. If he never gets the nerve to ask you out, just the two of you; then you have your answer.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 September 2013):
 could be... why not ask him out...
not all men want bone skinny women... being obese is one thing but having "a bit of meat on your bones" usually does not deter folks.
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