A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex husband and I seperated over 5 years ago. We have two children in Junior High School. He tries to stay in their lives by coming by our house every morning to drive the children to school.I met a man in another State about a year ago and throughout the year we'd visit each other. When my ex husband first discovered I had met another man, he went online to try to meet women. He even showed pictures of the women to my daughter asking her to pick for him. My daughter just laughed and said he was stupid and he will never find a woman that way. He got offended and replied that "That's how mommy found her boyfriend - online" But my daughter said "Mommy met her boyfriend in person, she didn't go on an online dating site". My ex husband was always jealous and tried to ask my children questions about my boyfriend. He also spoke bad of my boyfriend to friends and family asking them to warn my children that my boyfriend will rape them or do bad things to them. Both my children were so upset about this when friends and family members warned them, they defended my boyfriend saying he's nothing like that. Both my children are very supportive of me dating and understand that while I spend 90% of my time caring for them, I also need time to enjoy my life. On a recent trip to visit my boyfriend, I asked my ex husband to stay over at our house for a week to watch the children while I'm away (usually my mom does but she was busy), he saw that my children gave me big hugs before I left and I told them I'll miss them and be back soon. Immediately after I left he called his mother telling her what a whore I am and pretending to hug and miss my children as I go to meet up with my man. He started getting violent with his words saying how he'll hit and punch me in the face and how dare I ask him to watch the kids while I go meet up with another man etc etc. My daughter heard all of this and she recorded everything he said and sent it to me. She was so upset at the things her father was saying. I was trying my best to calm her down. I don't want anything to do with my ex husband anymore. I've moved on long ago, starting from the day he hit me and my daughter had to go on her knees to beg him to stop. I'm only civil to him now because we have children together. I know he feels frustrated and jealous. I wish he can move on too and find someone else in his life too. I surely wouldn't be jealous of him. Is there a way I can help him move on?
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jealous, move on, my ex, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 February 2016):
 "Is there a way I can help him move on?"
Nope. There's not a darn thing you can - or, should - do to "help him move on"......
What you need to consider is how to keep his escapades from influencing/affecting you and your kids....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 February 2016):
 First of all, you NEED to tell your ex-hb to LEAVE the kids out of it.
This is NOT about them. So that NEEDS to stop. IF he doesn't stop, then I'd seriously consider cutting the contact between HIM and the kids.
Now you don't mention how old they are, and IMHO it's irrelevant. HE is USING the kids as a tool to manipulate you.
I would NOT ask him to watch the kids at YOUR house while you are away again.
This is something you can not fix for him. You can't wave a wand and your ex-hb will become a decent man who will respect you.
My next step, if I were in your shoes? Talk to a lawyer.
And I wouldn't talk about this new BF at all to him, it's none of his business.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): Yes, it starts with not asking him to stay at your house while you are on vacation with your partner. Set visitation rights with him, beside the driver's role - not very interesting ! - if he is able to look after the kids. This is the real question. Wether or not he is jealous is not your problem. The problem is that it damages your children. Ask him to stop using your kids to vent his frustration. And see if he can co-parent properly and safely for your kids - at his place.
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