A
female
age
41-50,
*onksDaBomb
writes:This guy and I have known each other for years and have become good friends. We're former prof-student (I've since graduated) but we get along very well. We've lately been flirting and ever since I was home for Christmas (where we both were flirting) he has since ignored me. I have only wanted us to be friends; nothing more and admit the Christmas mtg. was a time when both of our emotions got the better of us. I have sent him some emails and tried calling him leaving a voice message, just telling him what's going on in my end and asking how he's doing; just keeping in touch and acting like nothing has happened.I plan to send an email to him in a couple weeks, just laying everything out: telling him how confused I am by his sudden silence/ignoring, how much I miss talking to him even more so that I'm so far away from home, family and friends (we live several states away so can't see each other until the summer when I'll be home for a bit), and - most importantly - telling him I consider him a good friend and nothing more.Does anyone know if there's a way I can get a confirmation that he did indeed open the email without him knowing? I use hotmail. I know there's a way to get a confirmation but the receiver would know because a friend back home, whenever I open one of her emails a box pops up that says "so-and-so would like confirmation that you read this email. Do you wish to proceed?" Because at this point I don't even know if he reads them or sees my name and automatically deletes them. If it's the latter then I'm screwed. And I definitely do not want him to find out I'm "tracking" this particular email cause then I think I'd just make things worse (if there is a worse). Please respond, even it's to tell me there is not a way; just so I know. Hopefully there is a way.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Hi. I can't say I agree with the previous post. I have been in a similar situation and let me tell you, there is a reason why he hasn't written you back. He may be attracted to you and think you are a very nice "girl". Meaning that he might find the fact that you were his student awkward in the scenario that you start dating. I am sure he means not to ignore you as much as avoid you. While you might not be able to determine the exact emotional source of his actions you can interpret his actions to mean that he is either uncomfortable with the prospect of being too comfortable with you, he is busy with other things in his life and is not open to considering a relationship OR there is someone else.
Look, men and women both do the things that are important to them to do. If he was excited to get your letter and wanted to become close to you he would have followed with a response but he didn't. Maybe he forgot or maybe he doesn't care...either way...what is the real difference?
Bottom line, I think his actions indicate that he might be interested in a casual affair but he doesn't have the care nor respect to have a real relationship.
Sorry if that is too honest but I have walked in your shoes before and I wish that I had someone tell me the truth then. Good luck.
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (22 February 2009):
MonksDaBomb is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you, Leemo. I of course want to be open and honest with him and can only hope that he would return the same. I just get this feeling that he doesn't even read my emails, but who knows - I could be wrong. Maybe he does read them...
I definitely want to make this friendship work. There was definitely a spark between us around Christmas. Not sure if he has since realized that and is afraid to confront me about it, I don't know. What I do know is that I want to confront this "issue" of his ignoring me now because I won't be home until at least June (hopefully we can get together then), so not talking to him or bringing this out into the open until then I'm afraid will ruin what possible chance of reconcilation we have now.
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A
female
reader, Leemo  +, writes (22 February 2009):
Not being a user of hotmail I'm afraid I can't help you with the email question but my advice to you is just be open with him. Ask him what's going on? Does he like you or doesn't he? Does he think that there is the possibility of more than just the odd flirt on the horizon? These are questions you would need to ask. Chances are he has received your email and that he's either embarrased to reply or he may just be trying to think of the best way to reply so it doesn't make you think he's an idiot. If there was chemistry in the beginning then it was there for a reason. Talk to him and ask him out for coffee. It's the 21st century and us women can ask the men out these days. Don't be shy about it. Whatever happens, I hope it works in your favour and I wish you every success and hope for a blooming friendship and relationship between you both.
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