A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible that a man would not be intererested in other women once he is in love?? for example my desire for other men completely ceased when I met my husband, but it seems he still has a roaming eye.Once I bought my house I lost interest in the real estate section. Once I bought my car I couldnt care less about other cars. Once I met my huband other men faded into obcurity for me.Clearly it seeks different for men, so what's the point of being with a man if he always feels the need for visual stimualtion beyond what i can provide?I simply want to feel enough for my husband, sexually, emotionally and visually, but I'm beginning to wonder if there's a man alive who's ever satisfied with the woman he has, at least visually.Please dont tell me men are more visualis has been disproven, women are just as visual...b Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bebe girlie  +, writes (26 August 2008):
Hey:) .. To tell you the truth , this question was popping in my mind recently and im sick and tired of my husband looking around....He never stops!!!... Although im good looking to him and I take care of myself but that doesnt seem to be enough for him!.. we traveled this past week and he asked me to get my best clothes and look wild because all the girls there would be stylish and hot! igot frustrated!!! I know he loves me but how can i keep his eyes on me?! everytime i see a girl coming in a restaurant or somewhere he is LOOKING! i told him a million times but NO.. and ughh there is something i hate most is when he tells me to dress like someone especially his B**** sister!!!! eeeew im soo angry !! .. u are not the only one..
A
female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 All men look, some just don't have the sense to be descreet about it. DOGS! ha ha.
My boyfriend is the same way. I am better looking than he is, and he should appreciate me, but he doesn't. Because he is always openly gawking at other women. We have had tons of arguements about it. Exhausting.
When I notice that a man is gawking at me, and he is with a woman, I give him the nastiest look with my eyes, in disapproval. Too bad all of the women of the world won't unite and form a "movement" to react in this way. ha ha. (A fantasy of mine) Until then, what can we do except look the best we can, and keep our chin up.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 It is strange that when us girls are in love, all we can see and think about is the man we are in love with. And yet as you say, it never effects men in the same way.
I guess we have ourselves to blame for some of it dont we? after all we all read the magazines that tell you 'You must be this weight or dress this way, and be a perfect mother,lover,cook,gardener and all the other stuff that we feel unless we do, we are not fit to be around. We really have set ourselves some impossible tasks, dont you think?
Men are so much simpler, they are not bombarded with pitures, and articles of how they should look, or act.
My partner does exactlly the same, even though I'm told by all his mates how lucky he is to be with me. (His ex, although very thin and definatly not pretty) was a bloody nightmare to live with, so he has a much better deal now.
Its a man thing. They are! bless them, still a bit stone-aged, in thier behaviour.
I choose to ignore that my darling B/F is staring at a 18 year old girl with a short skirt on, because when I was that age and doing the same thing, if a man of 45 was eyeing me up, I would either not even notice or look at him and think 'Perv'. LOL
The more you let it bother you, the more you become insecure. And you know thats another bloody thing that we are scorned for doing 'Being over emotional' God we cant win can we?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): I know where you come from...
I would also just like to be enough, for once. I think we often overextend ourselves with work and children and parents and just life, so feel inadequate to meet these challenges.
Therefore, it would be nice to just be enough for someone, esp for your partner.
But to sit somewhere in a restaurant chatting, or walking about with him, and he is checking out other girls. Openly looking, while talking to you, just makes me sigh inside and think: Once again not good enough. And what is the advice one gets?? Look your best or dress visually stimulating. But who can permanently be checking your lipstick or whatever. AM looking after children and just want to relax sometimes. And if i do do makeup perfectly, he still looks... So why do it.
No he is not going to leave. Loves me and the children. But needs(?) to still look. Wish he would do it when I wasn't there though. But looking at him, it is as if he cant help himself.
For me it would be almost adulterous to look at other men... And if I got to the point where i did look, how long before i wanted to touch?
So there doesnt seem to be an answer...
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 August 2008):
 It seems to me that you would require a man not to be a man. In my opinion, your question is a trap. To clarify, I would say that a man can be perfectly happy with his bride, but that does not mean he cannot appreciate the appearance of another beautiful female human being. It does not necessarily mean that the man is not happy with who he is in love with, it simply means that he has a healthy male's overall attraction to females. Looking does not constitute infidelity, and neither does fantasizing a bit. And getting married does not correlate to dying. Even if I owned a brand new Corvette, which I do not, I would still appreciate the look of a Ferrari.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): I do think men look all the time whereas I am like you, once married I wasn't interested in looking at other men at all. My friend is a young super model, recently married. Her partner still looks and flirts all the time although most men would kill for what he has. I don't think men stop looking ever. They may find you attractive and love you but they do appear incapable of not looking at what else is out there. It doesn't necessarily mean they are going to do anything but they still like to look. I used to think that my husband would be pleased when his friends used to fancy me and find me attractive but even that didn't seem to satisfy his ego. My husband left me eventually for in all fairness a very overweight unattractive woman. I understand where you are coming from as I feel the same about the car and the house too but I truly don't think any man ever stops looking. Obviously all you can do is keep yourself as attractive as possible, make an effort for him, be understanding and supportive and don't let it get to you. Unless he actually does something just laugh it off and be confident in your own self.
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