A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently meet a guy online and we've been on a few dates. I really like him and I see a future there and so does he. But I'm constantly sneaking behind my families back because I'm too ashamed to tell them I met someone online. I've met people online before but I usually just lied and said "Oh I met him the night I went to blah blah" but that was before I lived with my sister... now she knows the places I go, the guys I meet there etc.Is there a lie I can make up to get myself out of this awkward situation or do I have to tell the truth? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): Why would you be ashamed OP? You think meeting someone online is worse than drunkenly shifting them in a club or a party? Getting wasted and fingered in the corner of the bar?
You think we Irish are still "courting" in the old ways or some crap?
How you meet someone is irrelevant OP, what he's like, how he treats you and you exercising caution and staying safe are all that matters.
It's far worse to sneak behind their back with a guy you really don't all that well yet. If you were a parent you'd the freak the hell out if you thought your child was lying about where she was and who she was with all the time wouldn't you?
If it's that they'll think you're a loser something then give me a break OP, most relationships are conducted online or by texting these days anyway, even if you meet a guy in a club Facebook is probably the place you spend the most time getting to know him initially.
OP it's been a few dates, this whole future together stuff is a bit premature. You're only dating, you have no idea whether you have a future together yet because you really don't know this guy well enough so all that stuff is just talk. You haven't even gotten to the stage where you call him boyfriend yet, so your future together basically just consists of your next date.
Relax, enjoy the dating process and you're an adult, so act like one. If you have a future together like you think then why are you sneaking around like a teenager who's dating a drug dealer or 40 year old man?
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 Just tell the truth - loads of people meet online these days, online dating has been around for years now and there is no longer the same stigma attached to it as there used to be.
I used to be like you, with my ex boyfriends that I met online (2 of them) I never admitted I met them online, however with my current boyfriend I decided I didnt want to start a relationship based on lies, so I told everyone that we met online. 99% of people really dont care and most say 'oh my sister/cousin/work friend etc met their husband online'. You will be surprised how many people know someone that has met their partner online.
The only person who is a little bit weird about it is my boyfriend's mum, she's not too keen on telling people how we met so she'll tell them we met on a night out! But I dont really care, I prefer that I've been honest and if she cant cope with the truth that is up to her.
Dont worry about being honest - I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the amount of people who dont bat an eyelid.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): If you want to get literal here...you didn't actually "meet" him on-line. You just "connected" with him there first. When you actually met him (IRL) was where you met him for a date, in person. So, why can't you say you met him at (wherever it was)? End of story.
Dating on-line for some as gone in the wrong direction and these people are forming imaginary relationships over the internet and claiming they are in a relationship, are in love, etc., yet they never meet. It's quite funny actually. You did not do this at all. You actually met this person, so you shouldnt be lumped into that category or be embarassed about how you met. Does everybody have to know every detail? No, they don't.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 Just tell the truth. I mean how would it make your boyfriend feel if you had to lie about where you met him because it makes you so embarrassed? It would imply that you are also embarrassed about him, because he was also online after all. If you feel like it's something to be embarrassed about, it means he also needs to be embarrassed. If I was in his shoes I'd not like it very much if I found out my girlfriend was sneaking around and lying about me and how she met me. I'd feel hurt.
Then again, you and him haven't gotten serious yet. You've just been on a few dates. And no one needs to know where you met, you don't have to answer everyones questions. If someone asks where you met you could answer: does it matter? But why do you think people will judge you anyways? I met a boyfriend online, and at first I did think it was a bit awkward when people asked (but the question was natural, as he lived in another country, other than that no one has ever bothered asking me how I met any boyfriend). But I just said I met him online, and I haven't received any comments. The times where I did receive comments it's been from people who haven't ever met anyone online, and they are just unfamiliar with how it works. That's all really. But you can tell them it's like meeting someone at the supermarket, you don't flirt with everyone you meet, and it's not your typical place to chat up guys, but sometimes you can meet someone special.. even at a supermarket. Even online.
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