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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I found out on the day I was to bury my 94 year old grandmother that my husband went on chat rooms masturbating near our girls bedroom. Chatting to women who would tell him about what they were wearing. My husband has worn my dresses or skirts. Of course with some type of lingere under them. I think personally he is perverted. I love him to death. But am hating him right now. He has lied to me many times regarding this. I found out in August and he keeps coming out with all new things that are tearing me up inside. I keep saying over and over that I love him. I just can't trust him anymore. A woman at his work just baked him cupcakes and brought in hats and noise makers for his birthday and shared with everyone. I've noticed through the years they have become closer and closer. This terrifies me. Or is it that she is doing me a favor? He told her he was meeting me for lunch one day not to come to his room. Well surprise surprise she showed up with her lunch. She took the hint and left. Then a few days later she brought in his birthday cupcakes and noise makers. So I have no clue of what is going on. He is not honest. I can't do this anymore. I'm not strong enough right now to go through a divorce. I have two very young children. One in fact said to my husband she had a nightmare that Mommy married someone else and had another baby by him. I don't want that to happen. I want her to stay with you. Well, of course my heart is torn to shreds. I can't do anything even if I wanted to. I live my life through them. They are the only reason I enjoy being alive anymore. They are very very young and to hear a little 5 year old say something like that kills me. Where she came up with this, I have NO idea. My husband is a wonderful man to others. And extremely horrible to me anymore. I don't think he cares to be in this relationship either. Others have always been too important to him over the kids and myself. I can't take it anymore. Then I find out he masterbates to make himself happy. He cross dresses to make himself happy. He chats on line with other women to make himself happy. Is he gay? Trying to convince himself he loves women? I need therapy. Is there a chat room for women like us? I want to stay with him. I'm scared of being alone. I have young children who need stability. I stay home with them. Their life would be turned upside down if I left their father. What do I do? Another hang up I have with him is that he masterbates more times than he could even show me any affection. I truly believe he is more obsessed over his penis than he is over his own wife. I don't want him to be obsessed over me, but I would like some attention.
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female
reader, wheredoigowrong  +, writes (15 October 2010):
If you go to womens aid and chat about it, you will find most of the women in that room are asking was your ex my husband, most of it all comes out pretty much the same, I took my ex to court cos of what he put me through. If you do go to womens aid you can just sit and listen you don't have to say anything but my guess is that in the end you really will start to want to let your feelings out in the same room as people who have been through it... I did and I am the shyest person ever, it just takes a big push to make you realise what is going on and how to move forward even if it is to make you stronger or to see if you can come to the conclusion you can't take anymore, they never judge xxx
A
female
reader, lakeisha  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 you know, they have so many chat rooms for singles and people who want to get all hot for eachother, they really need to make a chat line for women who are in relationships that are going sour or boring. this is how i saw your question because i was searching for a chat room for women to answer eachother's questions on infidelity.
the more important thing i wanted to talk to you about is the arguing and fighting in front of your kids. I am 21 years old and your story sounds exactly like what my mom and dad went through. This must stop! it will have a horrible effect on your chidren. it happened to me when i was a little girl. all i can remember from the young age of 4 was my parents fighting and throwing things at eachother. its better to either work it out amongst you and him or divorce because when you argue, it forces your kids to take a either mommy's side or daady's side and dont be surprised if it's YOU that THEY WANT TO BE AWAY FROM! i was afraid of my mom when she was with my dad. and though divorce will tear your kids apart, they will heal. and its definetly better than watching you guys fight. when i was a little girl, i chose my dad over my mom and my brother chose my mom over my dad and then that resulted in me resenting my brother. when you guys fight in front of the kids, i can guarantee you that they do discuss it with other siblings and with teachers and other people that you wouldn't discuss this situation with. your kids will surely resent you for it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): The truth ,the horrible truth is , that you will never be able to fully trust him again ! this has happened to me . and l spent two wasted years trying to get him to at least treat me with some respect ! but all he did was throw it back in my face , why ? you may ask , and l tell you its because he could , because they can . its like give them an inch and they will take a mile . some men are born liars , some women too i guess , and they do not change ,and those amongst us who are honest ! will never be on the same wavelenth as them , all we will ever do , is run around burying our heads in the sand .Until one fine day we wake up and smell the coffee , and quite frankly do ourselves a favour . do yourself a favour and get rid of him 1
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A
female
reader, lonerose +, writes (21 March 2009):
I think the 2 of you or at least him needs counseling.Its hard not to take it personally.I have been with my bf for 2 and a half years.Lately he is distant.We do not live together.I thought that was the next step.The whole time we are looking at apts he has not told me he didnt want to do this.Today he tells me he is looking at an apartment like 50 miles away.He has already told me he cant move in to my apt I have now because of the distance to work.Its about 25 miles from my house to his work.Now he is thinking about moving farther away.He says he cant come over alot because he cant put milage on his leased car.He went 80 miles to the casino last week.I think he is full of shit.I dont know what to do.My heart is breaking.I wish he would just come out with it if he doesent want me anymore.Not knowing is worse.He wont talk to me about it.I tell him its hard not to take it personally.I mean if a guy is going to break up with a girl they dont just stop coming over.They tell her right?Im confused.
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A
female
reader, MaggieMay123 +, writes (17 February 2009):
There has to be. I mean all women need to blow off a little steam and these women need other honest women to tell it to them straight and sympathise.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008): hunny message me I will talk with you I was married for 6yrs to this kind of person and it ruins lives and hearts, Its up to people how they choose to live there lives but its up to you how you live yours love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): He would never touch the girls in anyway. I meant he did it in another room near their room. That is where our computer is. I'm sure OUR girls were not on his mind. I believe other women he was chatting with were on his mind. Yes he is a pervert. I am not in denial there. But you are right. I am very weak. And this is my fault. That is why I'm asking for help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
My ex was dressing up in womens clothes and looking at porn he used to look at transexual stuff that well just made me want to vomit, Hunny my husband beat me and called me a slut he hated women, Is your husband like this? I had small children, But I had to get out he nearly killed me in the end, I would wake up with knives to my throat. This is no life and this is no happy family. I would rather chew my own foot of than have that man near me and my children, I no its hard hunny but you have to make a decition to be happy as the children know when mums not happy, And if you cry they see it to. Hunny there are sites for familys with this problem, They are mostly about how to help you partner and how you deal with it, It may not be what your looking for, If you look up help for wives with a transgender husband you really dont get the support you need, And it support that you really need right now, So go see your doctor he may be able to help you out more, As I found the stuff on the web more hurtfull as I didnt marry a man for him to become a woman I wanted a man, If you need a chat please message me TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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