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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: What's the point of dating/settling down with girls who have dated/had sex with better guys before you? In high school/ college the loud fratty tall guys were getting looks/getting talked about and relationships/sex while I had to struggle for dates/looking better/working on charisma/looks.I've been burnt by two women severely. Girls who wanted to use me as a settle down option and I learned they led me on and dated these guys instead. Ive had one girlfriend, and kissed two other girls. Can someone tell me a reason why this virgin(not voluntarily) should keep trying and want to be with girls who have had sex/been played/want to settle down aftwr they've been with guys that all girls liked.I'm in this mindset I only want casual sex to prove I'm attractive to myself. That maybe theres a population of girls that would pick me over them.Its dangerous thinking but after seeing how much these fratty jock types get attention, I want some of that. I'm athletic and ha e my life together, but I'm not a 6'0+ guy that is universally attractive.I'm going thru rough periods I havent watched porn/masturbated in three weeks to change things and am really frustrated and really mad at myself and at why I couldnt be the one women are attracted to.My biggest fear is being second choice and thats what it seems like.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 You have a very one track mind when it comes to girls. We are not all the same, and we look for different things in guys. In your head the world is against you and there is always someone better than you around the corner. With this attitude no you probably won't find the woman for you, because she probably won't like your attitude towards the world. Yes there are a group of lads who girls probably swoon over, and vice versa you have models who guys look at. Yes a lot of people are shallow enough to go for someone who looks good, over a great personality. But not everyone is like that. However when you meet a girl, and you are down in yourself well then it will be hard for her to see the good side of you.
Its almost like you are bitter and jealous of guys who on the contrary are better looking than you. It does not mean they are better than you. If you want casual sex well then that is your choice, but a lot of girls don't want that, they want the full package. You need to build your own confidence in life, it won't come from going out and having sex with some girl. It won't make you feel any better about yourself.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (20 February 2016):
 "Can someone tell me a reason why this virgin should keep trying and want to be with girls (who have had sex/been played/want to settle down) after they've been with guys that all girls liked?"
Note that I've edited your question before responding to it..... My answer:
There's no specific reason why you should do so (pursue such girls).... YOU determine the attributes that you seek in your lady-friends. HOWEVER...
.... declining to consider any girl who meets (your) above details might reduce your field of prospects considerably. I'm NOT suggesting that you compromise your principles... but only noting that it's not necessary that a girl becomes "untouchable" because she has undertaken such activities....
.. and, don't believe that you get to be a martyr if you don't have lady-company, and you use your parameters as the reason.... Most (of us) don't consider such behaviour fatal to a prospective friendship/relationship....
Good luck...
...............................
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