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male
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anonymous
writes: Hello agony aunts,I seem to have problems talking to girls. is their any advice you can give me into asking girls out ?I see my friends talking and getting numbers off girls on the streets, but i am unable to do it as something keeps on holding me back, saying that i will get rejected, and am not good looking for the girl etc.This happened in secondary when i was getting taunted by the girls and boys saying im ugly and can never get girls.I would like to know, is their any way of over coming this shyness and if how, can you tell me?
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female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Sadly many, many, many people live their lives with social anxiety (often thought of as 'shyness'),which can effect both personal and professional relationships - and can be very stressful for the sufferer.
I'm not sure if this is what you have - but if you can't remember a time when you didn't feel anxious or awkward in new social situations or large groups etc - then maybe it is?
Many social phobics can even appear as quite confident and 'outgoing' - as they mask their anxiety in various ways. Lots of very shy people are amazing public speakers or movie-stars for example!
The good news is that there are very simple and effective treatments for social anxiety. A psychologist specialising in it would be the first place to start!
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 The way I gain self esteem/confidence was reading self-growth books. Kind of made me accept myself and saw other as equals instead of feeling inferior to them.
Maybe it could help you too.
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