A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy and i don't know if he is gay can you help me please. he is 43yrs old, He works as a dj, house improvement. he is very masculine body. a cop once said to me why are you with him it was kind of weird to me. he won't spend any money on me, everything is free free to him he buy a drink of hot choclate we would have to share all the time drinking one cup of hot choclate. he wears lip balm and powder he even makes sure his hair is perfect and shiny, he dresses in jeans and a nice shirt. he is very athletic like biking, hockey, walking. he knows how to pick the perfect bra and underwear better than me, he watches lady pagnates, stuff like that. he be nice to me for a day or two then he treats me like shit. our sex life is totally awesome. i feel awesome when i'm in bed with him but besides that it's just ok. one other thing is he knows me better than i do myself, yes that scares me!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): As someone who has been deceived before in this way, the details you picked to describe him do make him sound gay...though he could also be "metro" and just very concerned about his appearance.
Regarding his spending habits, it's not as if all straight men prove their heterosexuality by spending money on woman. If he is working two part time jobs, he may not have a lot of money. If he's been divorced or burned financially by women in the past, he may be reluctant to invest anything on a new one. Apart from the money it sounds like he is disinterested and doesn't treat you very well.
If he is having sex with you voluntarily then you know he can't be gay. Do you think he enjoys the sex as much you do? Does he only enjoy it exclusively in certain ways or positions (oral or doggy style)?
You CAN ask him if he's ever had an interest in men. If he likes to crystal ball you and pretend he knows all about you, then I think you are entitled to ask that kind of question.
Just be aware that if he's bi and he keeps you on the side (which is what his behavior sounds like) you can put yourself at risk for STDs. More importantly than determining his orientation, you should see if he sleeps with other people.
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