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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok, so there is this guy, and he's had feelings for me for a long time. I know, because he flirted rather obviously, though he never actually said it straight forward. I've known him for years and only seen him as a friend... up until now. I've rejected him more than once, but I still really liked him as a person and wanted to be friends, which we are, but in trying to get him off my case (it was getting awkward), I set him up with another girl. And they hooked up.And now it's starting to drive me crazy. Everybody always said we should get together and one person even commented he's crazy to have picked her over me. But... he does seem sort of happier now. I feel like a total bitch for this, but I'm starting to think about him in a romantic way and it will suck to ruin his new relationship. But I still think he has feeling for me (it's been a week since he started dating the other girl). Normally I wouldn't even consider making a move on someone who's taken, but he doesn't seem all that serious about her and I just don't know if I could hold it in. I guess now that he's finally off the table I'm starting to feel like I'm losing him... or I don't know, I'm just confused. Help, please?
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female
reader, MolBol  +, writes (29 June 2011):
I know exactly where you are coming from because the exact same thing is happening to me right now! I know how crap it feels, but in the end you have to think towards the future! I feel that if you are that close (people have said this to me too) and you are best friends or act like you are brother and sister then you will go through so many guys and he will go through so many girls, you will both help each other in the situations you go through but in the end you might get closer from it! But don't let that (^^^) make you think that it WILL happen. Most likely things always happen different to what you planned.I think that if you are serious about your feelings to him then you should tell him sooner than later, It wont ruin your friendship because you are that close already. Better to regret than wonder 'What If?'.You shouldn't feel that your losing him because if he is that close of a friend then he shouldn't ditch his friends for a girl, and if you do feel that you are losing him then make plans to go out with a whole group of friends or just simply talk to him over text or phone calls. If he doesn't realise that he is drifting then tell him and then hopefully he should start to try and change things and do things to get closer as friends again. I hope this has helped and good luck, and in a way I kinda just told you what I want to tell the guy in my situation. :)
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