A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband never compliments me. I have talked to him about it and he now occasionally will but it seems somewhat forced and rare stillThe other night I dressed up and thought I looked nice . I had a new dress, my hair done , make up and the whole works and as usual nothing from him. Then we get to the party and he can't take his eyes off one of the pretty women there . She was probably 30 and very attractive but I felt hurt because I thought I looked attractive too yet he clearly didn't notice me one bitThis is an ongoing theme.Does it prove he just wants a younger different woman and I'm not attractive to him anymore . Should I leave
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 December 2014):
 No it doesn't prove that he is no longer attracted to you, maybe taking you a little for granted?
My question to you is, DO YOU compliment him?
Sometimes, instead of TELLING your partner what you NEED/WANT from them, you SHOW them. AKA, you want compliments from him, GIVE him some. It might make him think and RETURN compliments.
A
female
reader, Delphi +, writes (4 December 2014):
Men are visual creatures.Maybe he liked Halle Berry and the girl looked exactly like Halle.I am just making assumptions here since I was not there. If you give him a choice,he would definitely choose the wife he loves over Berry any day.That is definitely not an assumption. Having said Men are visual creatures,looks might draw him in but cannot keep him for a long time.Is your marriage at a lull?Are you emotionally winning him over every day?When was the last time you did something new sexually?When was the last time he had a smile when he was thinking about you?When was the last time you cooked something special for him? Marriage can fool us into being complacent.Every day is a new day to win him over with kindness and unconditional love.Every day is a new day to practice patience when he doesn't live up to your standards.I think instead of thinking about leaving in the first place,time to repair what you have if this incident is a one off thing. All of us are human beings.When the heart is moved emotionally,the beauty of the human being is visible to us.Move him emotionally.Win him over with kindness,forgiveness and a generosity of spirit . Improve your self esteem to a level where when a guy looks at another girl,say to yourself,"Bleh!He might look all he want but I am the one he is with.I am the one he chose to marry.I am the one he chooses to come home to every night". I understand everybody is different.When you win over a guy emotionally,watch the compliments flow.I have never been one for compliments.I would rather take hot multiple orgasms any day over mindless compliments.Actions speak louder than words. If it still doesn't work for you,its up to you to decide what makes you happy.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 December 2014):
 no it does not prove he wants a younger or a different woman.
Do you eat the same food every day? NO.... you mix it up some I am sure.
Have you asked him about it? Have you TOLD him you want him to compliment you?
are there other things in the relationship that are not meeting your needs?
my husband of 2 years stopped complimenting me a long time ago. IF I ask him he will let me know what he thinks... have you asked him if you look nice???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2014): OP here . Thanks for the response Eric trou. Perhaps I should
Have explained better that the issue is that I find it very hurtful that he seems to find plenty of other women attractive and not me . I am not fishing for compliments ( although it would be nice once in a while I admit) in fact I would have been fine with his no comment had he not then spent the night ogling other women . I find this extremely hurtful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2014): As a female I can understand exactly where you are coming from and I bet so will most of the aunts. You want to feel desired, wanted by your other half and that to me ( im a mental health nurse btw) is only natural . If he isn't dishing the compliments then maybe you have to start doing them yourself . Book a spa day with your girl friends or lunch . do your hair .. keep putting on your makeup . If someone compliments you when out slip it into conversation with your hubby at dinner, make it light jokey even.Now the party, if he was staring and it became noticeable then you shoulda got up and left him on his own to enjoy his show.. That to me is soo disrespectful . don't be a door mat, if you want this to change you will need to firm on what you will and will not allow . everyone looks a lil but to me, by what you say its morethan that so let him know this is not on ..stand firm .. chin high
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2014): Hello there,My parents are typical Chinese born in the 50s and I never hear them complimenting each other. It's a cultural thing but Dad never checks out other women or makes Mum feel ignored and hurt. I'm sorry, but that's not a good sign. It's absolutely normal that women need verbal confirm while men express their feelings through actions, but your husband's behaviour is, I would say, very disrespectful and even cruel. Maybe he's taken you for granted. But I would say it's a better idea to wait longer before deciding hastily.. Have you ever tried stepping back? Like taking a vacation on your own and give him the space to miss you? If you've tried everything and it still doesn't work, maybe it's time to leave. You sound like a reasonable and confident woman. You deserve someone that appreciates you and doesn't grudge letting you know that he does.Good luck :)
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