A
female
age
51-59,
*ichelleAKAmandi
writes:Being a bisexual female, I choses to be with a heterosexual (straight) male and am happy and content that way. Do you think it may cause conflict with subconscious feelings and emotions?My husband knows that I'm bisexual and he likes it when I nudge him in the ribs when a sexy woman is in sight. He even makes jokes with comments like, "stop staring at her arse, she's gonna catch ya!" (like I would care... hehe)I've not been with anyone else since I met my husband, but of course I still look and fantasize. I guess what I'm wondering is, could there possibly be underlying problems that is coming from this? That may cause sexual tension and arguments. I know he is so very tired all the time. I mean if you work 13 1/2 hours a night 6 nights a week, and have been doing this for the past 10 months your bound to be left with little or no energy. Not saying he doesn't keep me satisfied, but I want it more often than I'm getting it and I do and will not by any means make him feel as if he's not keeping me satisfied. Meaning I think he will feel that way if I say anything about wanting it more. I'm completely honest about everything with him, but this I've merely not brought up yet.Did I make it too confusing to answer my question? I hope not... I didn't think I would end up using this site as something to help me as well.Thank you in advanceMichelle Reply to this Question
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female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (12 September 2008):
michelleAKAmandi is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hello Waz,
I'm apologize for leaving that bit of information out.
I have had sexual encounters with 2 women on separate occasions, one on one I might add, and I am very attracted to females in so many ways. It's not a fantasy because I've been there and actually had a relationship with one of the women that lasted 9 months.
I am, without a doubt, a horny lil' devil.... but that's another story... he he
As I mentioned in one of my updates here, my husband is aware of my being with women/being bisexual, and is aware that I still look at them and fantasize about them. I think it is great of him to not let this become an issue that bothersome. I know a few men that would and have.
Since my last post on this subject I've put some of my energy into a short erotica story that has actually help me deal with the pent up "bi" feelings I was dealing with.
Who knows Waz, I may end up wanting to share such an exciting night with the hubby and a sultry woman one day, but for now, I'm going to stick to my erotic stories. It works, so why question it, right?!
Thanks for your input so very much!!!
Michelle
PS - If you see another point from anything I've said, feel free to fill me in. ~wink~
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (8 September 2008):
michelleAKAmandi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'll go with ya, I'm not skeered!!...lol I'm always getting myself into a fix anyway. LOL
Thanks again and a million times!!
Take care sweetie,
Michelle
Say hey sometimes since I don't know "who" you are!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): You're so very welcome, Michelle, I'm glad I could help :-)
"Selfish" LOL! "Oh, PLEASE, honey, don't throw me in that briar patch! (.....well, not unless you go with me.....)" I think he'll be VEERRRYYY happy to help you achieve your selfish goals, again and again and ... ;-)
Happy celebrating :-)
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A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (7 September 2008):
michelleAKAmandi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey there again,
My husband, NOW, has the support of the plant manager!!! I got tired of him coming home and complaining that his supervisor wouldn't back him in having these guys wrote up on the first screw up, sent home the 2nd time and well 3 strikes and you're out! So I told my husband go above his head and tell them that if they are not going to do their job to back him to shove it. He did so and with that and the obvious changes my husband has made within the last 10 months he got 3 AWESOME raises within 6 weeks and the authority to fire anyone under him without the consent of his supervisor. Things really changed. The plant manager could see the workload being lifted and taken care of in a way it hadn't been in, what he said, years. So the past 2 months have slowly gotten better.
The 13 1/2 hour days for 6 days a week is good compared to 5 straight months/147 days with only 4 days off somewhere in between the 147. BUT... with all of this done, my husband has accomplished what he set out to do and soon it will be like it should around there. No one has to do work that someone else should have done/finished already
Ok... and the original reason I posted and your previous comment. I do agree with you and hell it's made a bit of difference in just the past 2 days. THANK YOU!! I merely needed that outsider/you to get through the cobwebs in my head and help me start to sort things out.
hehe... I'm tickled now!! Always am when I find a solution, thanks to you!
and to add.. the work issue... if my husband isn't making progress, he is NOT happy so his state of mind has gotten better and I've seen a happier man in the past 2 months than I have over almost a year.
I'm guessing it's almost time to benefit from my wait.~wink~
(That's selfish huh?... well, not like he won't benefit from it as well, right? Right!!)
You're AWESOME!!
Thank you again,
Michelle
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): Thank *you*, I'm glad I was helpful :-).Your bisexuality is Noooot a problem to your husband - I don't even know the man, and I can state this with confidence just based on your postings! I mean really, you hold out the promise of every man's fantasy, the FMF threesome - that is, of course, once he finally has those shorter work hours and has time for such wish fulfilment ;-). How's *THAT* for a carrot you can offer him?...Seriously, though, he's been doing this overwork business - and night shift on top of it all?!? Wow, no wonder you're a bit stressed! I get the idea of being a hard worker; I'm that way to, to a degree - but family has to come first, and that means you. 10 months is long enough, imho.Does he have the support of his management in making these changes? He's got leverage with them, as well, he can say "Hey guys, I've been doing this sh** for nearly a YEAR, and it's beginning to strain my home life, know what I mean? We gotta get this nonsense straightened out SOON, or I won't be available to keep fixing it up..." . He's a hardworking guy, they're going to want to keep him happy so I'd expect changes to start happening if he starts griping about it with that very reasonable backing to his statements.I'm glad you two have such a good relationship; I know you'll both do what you need to do to keep it that way :-).
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A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (7 September 2008):
michelleAKAmandi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhmmm... makes a lot of sense. It's sometimes easier to go on someones point of view from the outside and you've helped out.
He works these long hours because he is a devoted man in all aspects. He doesn't know how to slow down... no matter what he is doing...lol He has mentioned cutting back on the amount of hours per day he is working and that in itself gets me excited. I think that's another reason I've not yet said anything or brought it up for us to discuss it. I think I crave sex a bit more than the average woman, from what I hear from other women, so I don't push it and consider myself lucky and enjoy what I get.
As far as getting frustrated, I don't think that will happen, I have other means of taking care of things and then share it with him, so he doesn't feel left out. ~wink~ and I couldn't let myself get frustrated because it's not like he doesn't want me and I know it's a very good reason I'm not getting as much as I want... But I do understand your point.
I guess the bisexual part might have just thrown me... I should have asked myself what does one have to do with the other huh?! If anything it probably adds a little spice ever so often.
I will give it a bit longer and see what happens. He's dead set on getting a new crew in his Fab shop (he works in a Steel Plant), because the lazy bum's he had in there were getting paid to sit on their ass and do nothing. He SO hates that! That's why he took over the night shift supervisor position, because no one was getting things taken care of and work was falling behind. I know once he gets a couple more new, hard working people in there he will back off of his hours.
Maybe part of me was questioning something else that had to do with my bisexuality. It has been on my mind a bit more here lately.
Thank you very much for taking the time to tell me what you think!!!
Michelle
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): Hi, Michelle; your question seems straightforward enough (at least to me). No, I don't think your being bisex is causing any issues, it's your husband's work schedule and the resulting less-than-satisfying sessions of intimacy with him; I don't think there's anything subconscious about it at all.
I realize you don't want to make waves where there aren't any, but I think the fact that you've posted this means you're antsy enough to need to have that conversation. The fact that you've said your husband is doing well for you, that you simply would like more of the same, is a good reason to have that conversation in the near future, rather than waiting until you really *are* frustrated and the talk doesn't go nearly as well.
The talk wouldn't be about the sex, either - it would be about his long work hours, and is there a way to get them scaled back any, or is there a firm end date in sight? Why is he working so much, and do both of you still support the reason for it? What would be consequences be if he (and you) decide that it's time for a change? That's the real issue; once he works less hours and is less tired when he gets home, the rest should sort itself out very nicely :-).
Good luck, I hope he can scale back some soon!
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