A
female
age
41-50,
*xgal
writes:I met this guy back may just as he was headn for another deployment n iraq and we emailed, then IM'd and talked on phone alot then i flew to see him for thanksgiving in germany after the deployment because i work for the airline. Well had a blast and n dec he came home to tx for sum short time and we were apparently "gf and bf" but my question is, Do some army men at some point show emotions more after being out of army? I practically had to schedule time for just me and him because he wanted me to go drink every night with his diff friends he hadnt seen, and nice to be included but sometimes hes so unemotionally attached and unromantic and just drinked like everyday n now hes bak n germany n done in feb for gd but headn straight through europe n all over to party n travel til april, so wont c him til then. I just am an open person and trying not to get frustrated and wanted to know if army is what makes them that way and how can i get him to be more affectionate and caring like a bf wuthout him thinking im trying to change him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (7 January 2010):
In order to survive emotionally in a war zone you do have to be detached. That's how you protect yourself from a breakdown. Maybe he doesnt want to form any emotional connections until he is discharged because for instance, how many dear Cupid letters have we seen on this site from women who abandon their army boyfriends and husbands while they are on a tour of duty? Imagine after fighting for your country to protect your loved ones back home and all they are doing while you are away is abandoning you? So best way? Keep it casual, unemotional and if it happens (abandonment) it won't be so bad.
Its also difficult to switch your mind from killing people then a few weeks later wearing your heart on your sleeve. You have to go somewhere in your mind to cope with your situation on a daily basis. Then after its all over you can slowly start to decompress. You will have to be patient with him. He has a tough job and emotions are a liability to his life when he is over there.
A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (7 January 2010):
 As a Soldier for over 19 years, and currently in Iraq, I have some insight to your question. The simple answer is that everyone is different. Depending on his military occupational specialty, his rank, position, responsibilities, age, maturity all these factors contribute to his actions.Jeff
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