A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years we get on really well and his family are like my family the problem is any woman that walks past he stares till she's out of sight now he received a text this morning asking saying is this for instance john I seen this text as I was say next to him he quickly put his phone away so I asked who it was from and he said some lass that wants some work doing now this lass works in a shop over the road from us and he is in there 2 or 3 times a day do you think I'm reading to much into this or do you think something is going on also he doesn't have credit on his phone so he doesn't give his number out he uses my phone thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2016): OP, you need to tell him to stop going to this shop. Period. End of story. That you don't care if he is working there... or not. This woman is a threat to your relationship. So, what do we do with threats? We eliminate them altogether. Annihilate them.
If he doesn't, then you will walk.
Make it very clear.
This should tell you quite quickly what you need to know about this alleged flirtation.
And, I would also have an open, honest discussion with your boyfriend about the state of your current relationship and his level of commitment to YOU.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2016): Staring at women does not necessarily mean a man will cheat.
That's what they do.
So, if I understand correctly, he has his OWN phone but doesn't have credit on it and does not give out his number? So, are you saying he gave the woman at the shop his phone number (to his OWN phone? and not yours?)
Ok, that is suspect right there.
You also said that he quickly put his phone away when you began to question who was texting him. That is also suspect. A man with nothing to hide does not quickly try to hide his phone.
What is he doing at the shop 2-3 times a day? And is he alone with her much of the time?
I would definitely keep my eye on this.
It is still premature to come to a conclusion but the signs that are already there are not promising.
However, it does not mean he is fooling around with her or has the intention to. BUT, it is possible that you have caught this at the very beginning.... before he has had an opportunity to cheat with her.
Just keep your eyes open.
I would tell him to limit his time there if he does not have to go so often. I would also ask him to tell her to stop texting him unless she has a work related question or issue to bring up. I would not let him use my phone anymore either.
So, is he lying about his phone? Saying he does not use it or have credit or give out his number so that he can secretly communicate with her?
All things you will need to find out for sure before deciding what to do about it.
3 years is a long time to have invested in a man and a relationship. I am sorry you feel this way. If he does turn out to be a dog, then he be hurting you in the worst possible way. And that is horrible for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2016): Well, he doesn't have his own phone. Strike one. He gets a call from some female asking for him on your phone, and hides it. Strike two. He's always on-call from some lass he sees two or three times a week with no explanation of what he's doing for her; and why she requires him to always be the one to do it for her? Strike three! In American baseball terms, he's out! Staring at women in-front of you is blatant disrespect.
He is boldly seeing someone right in your face. Taking advantage of your trust. Maybe it's time this lass finds someone else for favors, and leave your man alone. I suggest you keep your phone in your pocket. If he needs to go down the road to do work for her, maybe you ought to roll along and see what it is she needs him to do so often.
Why is he always in her shop?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 June 2016):
 If she works for him then there's nothing suspicious. If there's nothing work related in between still, there's not much they can do in a shop while she's working besides flirting back and forth. What I find weird is that he doesn't have his own phone. If he relies on your phone then his entitlement to privacy is lost somehow.
How long has he been using your phone? Is his phone only good for receiving texts, but not sending them? Just by this habit alone tells me that he's the kind that takes advantage of people's kindness, and quite a cheapskate. He has wandering eyes for sure, but I think if he wants to start an affair he'd better get his own phone and pay the bill.
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