A
male
age
36-40,
*werty21
writes:Hi,I have been with my gf for 3 years now, were both young, early twenties. probably like most relationships we have our fair share of ups and downs, recently mostly downs and she has started to doubt our relationship.I know for a fact she has been texting her ex, but she swears they are just friends. We both still live with our parents and while she went downstairs I checked her phone. I'm not proud of it but I felt the need to as she is so secretive with it.Tonight we went to the cinema, and she was texting the whole time, I asked who it was and she replied emily her friend, when I checked her phone it was from the ex and some of the texts were quite suggestive, if I confront her she will go barmy and went behind her back, yet I feel the need to tell he I know something is going on, but I'm not sure how to go about it?any help is gratefully received,thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): i think you should talk to her about what is going on with the 2 of u... i agree that there shouldnt really b a problem with you looking at her phone, but if you were looking to find something then theres something wrong there and it will give her something to focus her anger on and avoid the actual issues...
odds are shes texting him because the 2 of u are unhappy and hes just a laugh... it might be harmless but the damage her secrecy and ur suspicions are having on your relationship is something you 2 need to talk about.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (16 December 2008):
 I think in a relationship of 3 years there should be a better sense of comfort with your girlfriend. You should be able to look at her phone if you want and ask what you want, I don't see the problem with that at all. My boyfriends have looked through my phone and I don't care, as I have nothing to hide. The only reason for someone to go crazy is if they are trying to hide something, they will try and twist the blame like "you should respect my privacy" blah blah, but flat out the only reason to be so mad is if there is something she is hiding. By lying that she is talking to her girlfriend shows she is trying to hide quite a bit from you. You should confront her. Don't allow her to turn it around on you, I don't feel you did anything wrong. Find out what's going on with this for real and that you won't stand being lied to and cheated on (cause yes, talking to an ex behind your back and lying about who it was is cheating). What you want to do is your decision. Just know she is in the wrong and there should be no problem comfronting her, good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): I think you should talk about your most recent problems and make sure that she loves you as much as you love her.You have to tell her that she needs to trust you with anything and that you won't judge her for texting her ex. I also believe that you should tell her the truth.
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