A
male
,
anonymous
writes: i'm so confused about my friend. i've liked her forever. she's in a relationship, but confessed her deep feelings for me recently, saying that she fell in love with me. but she also said that she still wants to stay with her current partner. but ever since then, we've been spending a lot of time together, in very date-like settings. we went to the aquarium, then ate a nice dinner afterwards. she even asked me to be her "guest" to a wedding where i met her ENTIRE family. on the drive home from the wedding, since i had a little bit of beer confidence because i'd been drinking, i asked her what the deal was with us. i told her that maybe we should spend less time together because she apparently had made up her mind that she wanted to be with her current partner. and i told her that i felt as if she was getting the best of both worlds - being with me during the day, and acting like a couple - but then going back to her boyfriend at night. and i told her that it wasn't fair to her boyfriend or me. and i told her that although we weren't physical with eachother, she was emotionally cheating on him. and i asked her what her intentions were for admitting to loving me. because i told her that i thought it was very manipulative, and wrong to say that when she was in a relationship. and i think she got upset and felt guilty, and she wound up taking back the fact that she loved me, saying that she realized after she said it, that she didn't really mean it. and that she really loves her boyfriend and not me. but now, she asked me to go on a picnic with her tonight, just the two of us. and i'm not sure her intentions. i don't know what to do because i'm crazy about this girl and want to be with her, but don't want to allow her walk all over me. how do you think she feels towards me, and how should i approach this situation?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): She shouldnt be doing romantic things like picnics with you. Doesnt her boyfriend get jealous? Does he know?
She needs to decide if you are a friend or more, she shouldnt tease you like this. If her intentions are honourable, cant she picnic with you, and her boyfriend, to send a clear message to you that she is with him but wants to be close friends with you. Dont fall prey to her teasing
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (10 September 2006):
She needs to make a decision and fast and if the decision is her boyfriend, then all these romantic nights out and picnics need to stop. She is being unfair to her boyfriend and to you, because she must know you care about her and want to be with her and she's just stringing you along.
She does sound like she wants and best of both worlds, someone with her all the time and that's fine as long as no one gets hurt. You want to be with her properly and her doing is this is just throwing you a bone, as it were.
You need to tell her, she splits with her guy and you two give it a go or you're purely just friends, doing things friends do. She sounds quite confused and maybe she doesn't know what she wants. But she needs to work it out fast, as this will only end in tears for all of you.
Hope it works out. Stop letting her do this to you and get sorting this out with her. Good luck.
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