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female
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anonymous
writes: I have recently ended a relationship and I am worried how any other guys will react to me when they discover I have a birthmark. I was born with a large port-wine birthmark on my face which I cover with camouflage make-up. How and when do I break it to a guy that I have one? My make up will smudge if I snog someone so it would need to be early on. Please advise. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): What BabyGirl has said is idealistic, but not very realistic. It's true some men/women will look pass the external imperfections and go after the person because of what they can offer from the inside, but as far as automatic initial attractions or impressions goes, people can generally be turned off by these external imperfections. Having a body and its basic characteristics is in itself a 'magnetized' medium to attract others to you.
Wearing clothes, grooming ourselves, putting make-up, gel in our hair, getting rid of blemishes and smelling great are all a part of the combinative formula for attraction. Don't think that just because someone is attracted to you externally that this person is shallow. Indeed, it may always seem that way, but think of all these external influences as 'bait' to 'lure' in your prey.
With this being said, it just basically means that you will have to try to improve on the other areas of your life to naturally make others attracted to you, for those specific traits. [ponders] I think you should tell your guy when he has a good idea of who you are and how compatible you two are with each other.
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