A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a girl from work for about 5 months. It is my first serious relationship, i am 24 she is 25. She previously dated someone else in my company for about 4 years but was repeatedly hurt by him. He would break up with her over what sounds like committment issues and finally did it after they had move in together. When she started seeing me it was very casual and told me she wanted it so. He was still in love with her and she did not want anyone at work to know because of the gossiping. Now some people at work do know but it is still kept quiet. I think i love her and revealed this to her recently, she says she was shocked but it did not change anythng between us. She also said she is still nt ready for anything more serious. I an finding it very difficult to carry in. Sometimes i see here fairly frequently and we have a really good time. I haven't seen her for 3 weeks other than at work. Do i carry on seeing her but be prepared to just wait till she is ready for something more, this is obviously painful for me, or do i have to call it a day? Is she trying to give me the slow brush off? Other people i have talked to mentioned that i should play hard to get also but i think i would find this very difficult!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2007): Honestly, I think she just needs time. It seems her ex-boyfriend left her a bit hurt so she's cautious. I can relate with that--I have problems with commitment too. The best thing to do right now is be supportive. And if you're seeing each other casually, it must mean you're open to meeting other girls, right?I'm not saying go around and sex up the first gal you see, but don't waste your time on a girl that might not possibly come around. Since you love her though, give her some time to get more comfortable with you. She's probably just scared to be hurt.Hope this heled - xoxo
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