A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We were both 16 when we met. When I first noticed her, I NEVER thought she would smoke or drink. To my surprise, she told me she started smoking at the age of 12 (social smoker) and went to club and pub at the age of 15. That happened before she met me. Then I also found out that she had 3 relationships and one fling. All they did was kiss. However she lied to me once about her past. She said she went to the home of one of her ex's and played boardgames but actually it turned out they were kissing on the sofa.That dude tried to pull her hand down his groin but she refused and left the scene. I dont know why but I feel that theres more so I confronted her many times but she told me she was speaking the truth. In my mind, I was imagining all sort of possible scenarios that might happen. Based on myself, when guys touch girl,dont they touch girls breast first then down below? Is she omitting something? She assured me that I was the first in touching her breast, first to be in sexual contact with. Is she telling the truth?
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her ex, her past, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2013): Please stop interrogating her. You are being a real jerk and until you learn how to rationalize your own insecurities, you are going to be a very unhappy person.
You need to understand NOW that you can take her as the person she is (complete witha past that she seems to be ashamed of), or you can leave her (and her shameful past) behind. Nothing she can do or say will change her past. Either leave it alone, or leave her alone. Your choice. Be a man.
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (13 April 2013):
 Why do you care? This is none of your business and come across as obsessive and controlling behaviour. She is your girlfriend not your possession. Even if she had sex with 10 men before you, you still have no right to judge. Give the poor girl a break.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 April 2013):
 was this before she met you or after she started dating you?
because if it was before she met you why does it matter?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 April 2013):
 There is no universal behavior when it comes to foreplay and sex. Whatever her version is, she cheated on you. She is not a trustworthy character. Even if she's your first sexual partner, first to touch here or there, she still makes it a more possible cheater than other girls out there because of her lying habit. Better to be with an experienced, honest sober girl than a virgin who smokes at 12 and hangs in clubs at 15. You are basing quality of a girlfriend on whether she is your first at whatever. She is still very young and if it wasn't for age restrictions, she would have been doing a lot more. Promiscuous people all start off by having their innocent firsts. Just because you are a girl's first does not make the relationship more special and long lasting.
This is an ego based question. It's like you care more about being the first, more than the trust issue in the relationship. Like if she's proved to you to be the first in everything, it does not matter if she smokes, drinks and hang out with guys and "innocently" assumes that the guys don't want more than just friendship. She is either naive about guys' attention or she does not handle them very well, and would go along rather than just say no, I have a boyfriend already.
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