A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everybody. I really need some objective opinions here.I'm currently in a FWB relationship with a girl I like very much. As in, A LOT. But she's clearly not that into me, she has told me that explicitly and she rejected me when I asked for something more serious. We haven't had sex yet, but come very close to it (we don't have much privacy because we both live in our parents house).What bothers me is that she acts what could be described as randomly. Sometimes she's really cold and sometimes she's very kind and caring. Sometimes she won't kiss me and sometimes she will. Sometimes she gets angry with me for very obscure reasons. It's quite weird, I cannot predict what her mood will be the next moment.My friends have told me that most likely even SHE doesn't know what she wants and that I should "act distant" and that maybe I'm acting too needy and clingy or something. But I'm not stupid either, I wouldn't chase her if I didn't see any receptivity right?I mean... If she really didn't want anything she could just come up with excuses, wouldn't agree to hang out several times in a week, she would just not answer my texts. Or even more, she would NOT send me random texts out of the blue. This is just NOT how an uninterested person acts.Bottomline, I don't care if she's not thaaat into me, as I am into her. What I care about is... why is she doing this? Is it because she's addicted to the attention I provide her?Because there's not much else that she could "take advantage" of here.And even if this was the case, and she was only interested in me because of the attention I give her.. does that still mean that I have a chance to get her in a serious relationship with me?I'm extremely confused here, but certain of only one thing: I really like this girl and I think she's worth it and I have never met anyone else quite like her, so I won't stop persevering. And she's being receptive -though not as much nor as steadily as I'd like- to my advances.I really don't think acting distant like my friends say I should will help at all. And talking to her about this is pointless too because, as I stated, she doesn't know herself what she wants and every time I bring up the subject she eludes it.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): Hmm sounds familiar.
I sincerely think she really likes you but scared to commit.
Which is good because if you still live with your parents, it would mean your both still young, right?
Why not just enjoy her company, be happy and see where it go?
Because if you try to forget her at this early you will suffer from madness and sadness. lets face it your going to miss her so bad. When you really don't need to.
There are women who are scared to commit just like men.
She is one in a million because most girls will be clingy and wanting more. She's not.
It drives you crazy so maybe you really had it bad.
my advise if you really wanted to get her, just be consistent. show her your worth it, and she'll be yours.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 July 2013):
 you are trying to make her behavior fit what you want.
if you were really ok with the situation the way it is you would not care or question it you would go with the flow and your question about possibly having a serious relationship with her gives you away totally.
She is not that into you and is not interested in anything serious. Heck you aren't having sex so I wouldn't even call you FWB...
basically she is doing the carrot trick.. she dangles just enough attention your way to keep you going after her.
if you ignore her she will step up to get you back into stroking her ego with your attentions and desires but the second you go back to being that attentive man who will take her crap because you think she's so great, you'll be back here posting that your "girlfriend" runs hot and cold and as long as you ignore her she's fine but if you pay attention to you, she ignores you.
do you really want to have that kind of up and down roller coaster relationship?
best to accept that she is not that into you and throws you crumbs to keep you interested enough.. the second someone she's REALLY interested comes along she will drop you like a hot potato.
I know you won't stop seeing her but guard your heart.
...............................
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (3 July 2013):
You should just move on and find someone who will give you the love you deserve. You are wasting your time with this girl and sorry to say, you are way over reading into everything when she been straight with you. So stop trying to create something out of nothing.
...............................
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (3 July 2013):
 Hi, stop playing games and trying to figure her out. She has told you that she wants just FWB only. You obviously want more. To avoid hurting yourself any further and risk this woman humiliating you, I suggest you move on. I am not being nasty but very practical about your situation. People who are in FWB relationship , especially the one that develop feelings for the other, sees and hear things that are not there. Time you move one and don't hold out just in case she changes her mind. You deserve someone that can love you back.
...............................
|
