A
male
age
41-50,
*ickeyblueeyes
writes:Before I start I must warn all of you this is a very long winded problem, but please read on I could use all the advice I can lay my hands on. I have been seeing this girl who is 19 and I am 23. we were together for 1 and a half magical years, in that time we were completely happy and never encountered a problem that we didnt tackle together. However 9 months ago we were looking in to moving in together, this being just before she went away on a holiday. Well when she got back she told me she wanted to split up. According to her we split up cause she thought she fancied another guy. Anyways we remained in contact after the break up and things didn't work out with them two, after a while she was coming round my place and before long we were having sex on a regular basis. We took it as friends with benefits. Well that stopped when she started seeing another guy. While she was involved with this guy, we slept together again! Also that night she said she loved me and that she wanted to be with me. Well to say the least I was elated. So the next day I took her home and that very same day she called me saying that she wanted to be single! I was utterly gobsmacked. We had a row on the phone and didn't talk for a few months after that. Well once again she was the one to break the ice by re-establishing contact, we spoke and met up regularly and the spark was always, always there. Well again we got back together about 4 weeks ago, and once again all was right in the world, we went to a travis concert and on the drive back she once again said that she was falling for me and ..... yep you guessed it! Once again we broke up, once again cause she thinks she likes this guy! How can she be so duplictious? Is she messing me about? Or is she just scared of commitment? Its seems to me that every time she develops an emotion for me, or our relationship takes a turn for the long term. She unleashes and pushes me away, and that kills me every single time she does it. Even though we have discussed all this, I dont think I am getting through to her. What the hell is going on? Does she like/love me? or am i her lap dog? Someone she is using until the bigger better deal shows up? Please guys and girls I would greatly appreciate all advice here, I am looking for lots and lots of opinions for me to digest, especially as this is not a problem that has an obvious solution. All views are welcome. Many Thanks Mickey
View related questions:
broke up, friend with benefits, got back together, spark, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): She seems to be using you for her own personal self esteem/ego, every time it doesnt work out with a guy she bounces back to you to build her confidence back up. Once she has picked herself up again, she's off again to seek another man.You must really love this girl to let her come back to you time and time again, and I know it seems the hardest thing in the world to tell her no, but you will just keep getting hurt if you let this continue.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): How can you stand being with her after all that? She always leaves you whenever she thinks she can find something better, and then comes crawling back when it doesn't work out. Use your backbone and tell her that if she leaves you again, you're not letting her come back. Or if I were you, I'd just call it off now. You clearly have no future together. She only uses you when she has nothing else to turn to.
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (14 July 2007):
 so u were together for almost 2 yrs with out any problems and were in love, then she goes away and things change. in my opinion this girl is not scared of committment but just doesnt know wat or who she wants and while she tries to determine this she is taking you along on the ride, and you willingly let her. as she is younger than you you have to understand that she is not gonna be as emotionally mature as you would be. for your sake i think you need to tell her that you are not going to stand for any more messing about and then you need to let go and try and move on. this has been going on for a long time and there doesnt seem to be any signs that she is going to stop and settle down any time soon. right now she is in a dream position - she is single wen it suits her and gets you wen she wants a man - and you need to stop letting her think this is ok!! my advice is move on and try and find someone that is more mature and understands the fundamentals of a relationship. i hope this helps and feel free to email if you need more advice!
...............................
A
female
reader, JessAgonyAunt +, writes (14 July 2007):
 Hey, she is definately messing you about, she doesn't know what she wants!, just move on babe!! you will eventually get over her you deserve much much better.
good luck
xxxx
...............................
|
