Is she manipulating? Or possibly bi?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I need to talk about something very confusing for me. First, I'm lesbian. I met this straight girl from my school a year ago and I found her very attractive so I wanted to try something, so I kissed her at a party. I was a little bit drunk but she wasn't. She didn't even pushed me away as I was kissing her, she wanted to kiss with tongues but then her train arrived and we had to stop. She told me she didn't know her sexual orientation, she's always been with boys. A few days later I understood she had a boyfriend... She told me she finds me attractive and pretty but that she was taken. We went on sending texts to each other and hanging out on weekends. I think she forgot about the kiss and all of that stuff for a while. And since then, we became best friends. We spend a lot of time together and text 24/7. She's been with her BF for 4 years but now it's almost over because her feelings are going away. In the meantime she had sex with another boy who was very mean to her, and I hope they stopped seeing each other. She said she made a huge mistake with this guy and that she feels awful. The problem is that I've never been in love since her... And since the start we have a weird friendship, I sleep with her, cuddle her, tell her I love her,.. and she already told me that when she was with her boyfriend she only looked at girls, and stuff like that,so I was very confused. Later I talked to her about what she told me and she said she never said that before or that I misunderstood the things she said. But I know what I've heard. And it's not the first time she talks about girls. She's a very sad and lonely girl who thinks she has no future but she's so happy when she's with me. So I thought I had to tell her I have feelings and that maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while if she doesn't like me the way I do. I told her TWICE ! The first time, she didn't even speak, she was crying and told me that if I was sad and broken-hearted we should stop seeing each other, even if it breaks her heart to lose me. We tried for 2 days to stop talking but we couldn't. I needed her and she needed me I think. The second time was a few weeks ago, when she told me she had sex with this old, ugly, and mean guy.. (We're teenagers). I was very mad at her and jealous..so then she asked me 'So you love me more than friends ?' like it wasn't obvious.. I've already told her before, you think she thought my feelings were gone ? They can't go away in a few weeks like that ): So then she was cold and we talked less, and now it's like before, we still tell each other 'i love you' and 'i miss you', and we see each other again. I don't know what to do. She used to have friends before me (she lost them because they were all boys and wanted to go out with her), and those guys told me she always wanted to go out with a girl but she never had the opportunity. We used to talk about girls sometimes but now she talks about boys all the time but she's exaggerating too much..it isn't natural. Like we watched a lesbian movie together and she said it was cute and then 'Oh I'm very worried for the guy in the movie' and stuff like that. And the next day we took a nap in each other's arms the whole afternoon and she slept on me. Is that what bestfriends do ? Coz I had besfriends before but we never did that. And last week while we were on a bus, I was reading a book (A guide for Lesbians, like how to make love, find a girl, coming out,..) and she was asleep, I thought she was sleeping as I was reading the book. Then later that day she told me 'I read some parts of your book while you were reading it and it sounded interesting, could I read it?' And then, I told her 'You know, that's not for straight people, I'll offer you a book with sex for straights or something instead (:' and she was like 'Uh, I'll buy it then !' Then we stopped talking about that and I sent her a text to tell her I'll give her the book tomorrow. I don't know what to think. Do you guys think she's afraid she might be bi or something and wanna learn stuff that lesbians do ? Or she's just kidding me and manipulating me ? I know she's not the kind of girl to tell people how she feels inside, and I don't think she likes me, I don't know, maybe I'll never know. But why reading this book?

View related questions: best friend, drunk, jealous, kissing, lesbian, sex with another, text

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A female reader, Anastasia  +, writes (23 February 2012):

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