A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend informed me that she wants a break. We have been dating for 5 years now. I decided to let her have her space, she said thats what she needs, she wants to go out and meet new people with her friend. We still talk every day, she says she doesnt want to lose me, but she also doesnt want to be with me right now. So one night, we got in a fight and she got drunk and kissed another guy, i found out and she said it didnt mean anything but she did like it. She didnt plan on telling me because technically we werent together. When we started the break she told me she wasnt going to be doing anything with other guys. My question is, is there a future with this girl, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But the fact that she send him a message on facebook the next morning thanking him for kissing her makes me think shes only keeping me around as plan B, and it meant more than she let me know. I just need some advice, please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): i understand the part where a partner needs a break from the relationship. but the way you and your girl are now, it doesn't seem fair.
my suggestion is for you to call it a quit for now. obviously you need the time out from her too. it will be ok. after an appropriate amount of time apart, you will know what to do.
good luck.
A
female
reader, peace love nsn +, writes (8 August 2010):
sorry to say this but yea. if you guys really see a future together she wudnt have ever tooken that "brake" nd kissed that guy when she was drunk. she reminds me if one of my frends. you shud try looking for another girl and honestly I would still keep get as a friend but she like one of the least people you like do get me like she is there but not there at all? hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (8 August 2010):
 it sounds like it, honestly. It really sounds like she wants to keep you around while she looks for someone better in her eyes. Be careful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): Well.. yeah, I'm sorry, but I recognise this situation (I was/am the girl), and generally asking for a break is a way to ease into a breakup. she may not realise this herself. I guess keeping you as plan B is one way of describing it, but I think she probably still loves you a lot as a friend, and just needs some time to figure out if her feelings include long term romantic feelings as well. Unfortunetely theres not really anything you can do, she just needs time. And it could go either way. My advice is to try not to take it too personally, even though it must hurt a lot to see that going on with her. Try to move on with your life, and get out and get your life back as a single guy even if you dont feel it. I dont mean to go around hooking up with people, just spend time with your mates, and dont talk to your girlfriend as often. It will remind her of the guy she first met, and give her a chance to miss you a bit. Also, its a good chance to reconnect with any mates you may have lost contact with, and set you up for if she does decide to go her own way. One more thing. I also was with my boyfriend for 5 years, and sometimes its better to just breakup than drag it out. So make a time limit with her for this ´break´ and at the end of it make her decide. And if she decides to stay with you, she needs to be commited 100% to the relationship. Anything less is not good enough. Don't let her string you along if she cant decide, its not fair on you. good luck.
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