A
male
age
36-40,
*aizor31
writes:I got to know this girl when i was in my previous company and while i was interested in knowing more about her, i was about to quit and she was taking over my duties so i did not feel it was appropriate and i left it at that.But a few months after i left, i started texting her and we started to chat more and more. Her response has been pretty ok, she asks a lot of questions about me and seems generally interested to keep the conversation going. She has also initiated conversations a few times. From what i observed while i was still in the company, she does not appear to be such a friendly person in public. So after a few weeks of chatting and after she ask me about what type of movies i liked and me asking her back(she said she is ok with any type of movie), i decided to ask her out for a movie. To be honest i was quite hopeful but to my surprise she said it was not a movie she is interested in watching and when i suggested another movie, she said she was busy with work and could not spare time to come out.Although i do know that she is a bit of a workaholic ( eg. working at home on holidays), i am still skeptical on whether it is her subtle way to telling me that she is just trying to be friends and want me to leave it at that.So is she interested or being just friendly?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 Some can- otherwise we would not get so many letters from guys upset about having being " friendzoned ".. or ,strung along, as they see it.. Apparently ( rough generalization but with a reasonable base of truth ) if a guy bothers befriending a girl and making conversations and asking questions etc... is always in view of something more intimate . If it is the opposite- not always . Some girls genuinely only want a new platonic friend, and some... like having male admirers , and the attention they get from them, but they would not take it further.
I'd say, try casting your bait ONCE more, in a way that leaves her less wiggle room ,- and see what happens. If she blows you off again, it's a lost cause.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 If she was interested in going out with you, she would suggest a time when she could do it.
Most people are not that friendly in the way you've described, but her answer to you is pretty clear: there will never be anything more than friendship between you.
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A
male
reader, kaizor31 +, writes (13 February 2013):
kaizor31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany thanks for the fast replies ladies and much appreciated.
While i have learn from past experiences and not to read too much into what does not exist.
I still feel that based on our conversations, how she asks ALOT about me and the way she replies and attempts to keep the conversation going (our conversations can go on for hours), i am not sure whether she is just being OVERLY friendly.
I mean i am quite experienced in knowing when a girl is just trying to be nice and not that interested in chatting with you and it doesn't feel that way with her.
So could the ladies enlighten me on whether girls can really
be SOOOOO friendly?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (13 February 2013):
It sounds like a brush off to me . If she likes all kind of movies, BUT , strange coincidence, the one you suggest... and when you suggest another movie, she is too busy with work... to me it means : that she hoped her first refusal was enough to discourage you , but when it didn't she had to come up with another excuse fast. Otherwise she'd have said, too bad, I can't right now, what about next Tuesday ? Moreover,workaholics too can be easily lured out of their working den, if there's enough inducement , i.e. if they are really into the person asking them out. People will MAKE time for something they are interested in.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 hmmm, could be one of three things:
1. she's just not interested.
2. she's nervous and shy.
3. it really just wasn't a movie she was interested in and she really did have to work (although i'm leaning towards ruling this one out because for most people, if they really like someone, they'll go watch a movie they can't freakin stand, just to be with that person).
i would keep talking to her for a little bit longer and maybe ask her out ONE more time, later on down the road after talking for a bit longer, and see what she says. if she blows you off again, i would give up.
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