A
male
age
41-50,
*lacksabbathboy
writes:I hope this question isn't too long. OK, here's the situation. I came out of a long term relationship 7 months ago. Around two months after that, I met an awesome girl. We met through friends, became facebook friends, had some really good online chats and then started hanging out. We had some great times, and there seemed (to me) to be sparks.I felt like I had totally fallen for this girl. After a while, she just kinda started ignoring my text messages and online messages. I sent her an email explaining how I felt about her, and she replied said that she had just gotten a new boyfriend! This pretty much came out of nowhere. Anyway, I was pretty hurt by this but let it go, and after a few drinking and moping sessions, started getting over it. A few months later, I sent her a message to to say hi, how are ya. She responded by suggesting we get together and catch up. We hung out, had a great conversation, and she told me about how much of a douchebag this new guy seemed to be. Anyway, we hung out a few more times, she came to watch one of my band's gigs, and after that, she told me that she had broken up with this guy. Anyway, the last two weekends we've spent a lot of time together. In fact, last weekend, we went hiking, had lunch, and spent the rest of the evening and night sitting and talking on the side of the mountain overlooking the ocean. We had a few beers, were not drunk, but tipsy, and we cuddled and held hands and just got really close. It was amazing. I feel like I've fallen completely head over heels for this girl. The next day I sent her a text. No reply. I sent her a facebook message asking if she wanted to hang out and see a movie, no reply again. I called her last night and she didn't answer her phone. The only time I've heard from her since then was a random message she sent me on facebook (after I made the unanswered phone call) asking about which album out of a band's discography to listen to first. What's going on here??
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male
reader, blacksabbathboy +, writes (19 May 2010):
blacksabbathboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers guys and girls :) I'm gonna play it cool, and as the general consensus of these answers suggests, am not gonna contact her again, I'll let her initiate contact if that is what she wants. It's tough... I really wanna call her. But will not.
A
female
reader, lil212  +, writes (19 May 2010):
HiAfter reading your post I think it seems she does like you and like hanging out with you but is using you whenever is convenient for her! She texts and see's you when SHE wants, then doesn't reply when you sometimes innitiate as she's busy doing other things. She knows you are there whenever she wants you to be. If I were you I would back off and ignore her for a bit, I know you prob dont want to play games but if you really like her then make her wake up!! She thinks she has you whenever she wants you. Serious this works, I had a guy I wasnt too sure about but I knew he's always answer his phone and see me when I wanted and if i was bored ... then he just dropped off the side of the planet .... it made me think about him and what he meant to me! I wandered what he was doing who he was seeing etc. Don't let her use you you seem like a nice guy and i'm sorry to say but at the moment it does seem like she is using you a bit. Sorry if i was harsh!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): don't sound desperate; hold your fort; no more messages till she replies nicely.
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