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Is she disinterested, trying to get my attention, or make me jealous?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 February 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello Cupid

I was wondering what are ways that girls use to make you jealous or seek your attention!How do you know they are just being disinterested or making you jealous ?

I am very social person so I hang around lots of different people so the girl I'm dating is acting a bit strange lately ! I suspect she's jealous because I interact with lots of people including girls .

I had talks (on phone) with her yesterday if anything was troubling her etc (after giving her space for three days ) and she just was very nice and said there wasn't anything and I thought we were good. I even went further and asked if she felt jealous or if there are any mind games involved, she denied it.( She said she likes being Straightforward like me) We had a nice conversation afterwards.

Today however when I met her in person, she was cold and distant and I wasn't sure how to act. I felt she was purposely pushing a lad playfully in front of me!

Usually when I'm around, she's more involved !

Is she getting even for ignoring her or is insecure about a lot of females friends I interact with. And do girls deny they are jealous even if they are ??

And especially how to differentiate if girl wants your attention or just is disinterested.

View related questions: insecure, jealous

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (5 April 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntif you like her be yourself and go out with her... stop worrying what to make of it and what her motives are.

she contacted you so that's the open window you need to see if this could be something...stop playing games and worrying about what it could mean and just enjoy a bit.

life is to be lived and enjoyed and worrying about what it means could take that away...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

She was being distant for a while so I thought she's not interested so I just deleted her numbers ! Moved on!

Now she contacted me after two weeks asking , how am I doing, what I been up to and all! She even mentioned why she wasn't being around when I replied her with three lines... What do I make of this ?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2014):

you haven't waited for any longer. it was only today. she's probably bugged about something. if it goes on, then send a followup, and we'll try and solve this! hopefully she was only being cold today x!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 February 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWell none of us can speak for ALL women as all women (after age 18 we are women NOT girls) are different.

I can't even speak for your girlfriend. I suppose that if you have been playing stupid games with her (giving her three days space sounds like game playing to me as does your "interaction" with "lots of people" which I assume means lots of eligible women to date to see if your gf gets jealous) she is either playing a stupid game back or more than likely she is wisely distancing herself from you in preparation for ending the stupid relationship.

Let's start with jealousy. JEALOUSY is not an emotion based on love or desire. JEALOUSY is an emotion totally rooted in insecurity. If she gets jealous it does not mean she loves you or wants you.. it means she has very low self-esteem and is nervous and insecure that you are going to leave her... that does not sound like what's going on here.

Rather it sounds like you IGNORED her for three days and when she saw you she opted to play it cool and practice disengaging so that when it's over it's not too painful.

YOU accusing her of being jealous is attention seeking and ego stroke seeking behavior at best and childishness at worst.

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