A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a female friend, in fact she calls me her 'best friend', we hang out almost every day, and if we don't hang out we'll normally text or chat to each other.However, she doesn't treat me like 'just a friend', sometimes she'll want to hold my hand, rub my leg/arm/hair, hold my arm as we're walking, hug while we're watching a movie, sleep over at my house, kiss me on the hand. After not seeing her for a week recently she told me she was lonely and needed me in her life. But then just as quick she can act really withdrawn and distant from me.We didn't start out like this, this behavior has been building up over the last 3 or so months to a point where it's really got my head twisted causing confusion and stress. If I bring it up I'll get an answer along the lines of "we're just best friends", if you like me like me, if you don't stop screwing with me -_-I brought it up with a group of close friends (both male/female) and they all pretty much told me "she's madly in love with you she just doesn't know it"I guess I'm asking, is it possible for someone to have told themselves for so long we're just friends, that they believe it to the point where they don't realise something more is happening?
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female
reader, UnfinishedSymphony  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 from a girl of your age POV,
shes into you alright.
all i had to do was read the first few lines.
im really close to my guy mate, very similar to you and your mate. however, i would never be toucky feely with him unless i liked him more than a friend.
she may not love you but she definitely lusts you (at least)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys, I did start paying attention to her words instead of her actions and thats when i started getting confused as they most certainly don't match up with her words! She constantly says we're "just friends" yet displays the above actions, wants to be with me daily etc.
My worry is she's been telling herself for so long "we're just friends" that she might not actually believe/realize what she's doing?
Perhaps I'll just tell her if she really thinks she wants to be just friends then she's going to have to bring her actions in to line, maybe when she realizes how often she's sending out mixed signals she can better make up her mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Mixed signals are a bad sign. Once I was sending an ex mixed signals because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and tell him I was in love with another man. the ex had re-surfaced in my life and I had already moved on to a new beau.
I wouldn't hang out with d ex or even see him but I was talking on the phone with him. My Ex had contacted me and was going through a tough time in his life. He claimed he needed me. Because of his struggles I didn't want to burst his bubble, but I evetually told him that I wasn't interested. I tried to let him down easy.
Just ask her how she feels. If she beats around the bush...start ignoring her or move on. Judge people by their actions not by their words and you will be fine. Don't believe a girl who says I love you or I need you and then vanishes for weeks at a time. Someone who needs you wants you around them and will be around you often.
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A
female
reader, sexygal7  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 hmm this is a tough one maybe you should just cut to the truth and ask her.
Or just tell her you just wanna be friends and you just wanted to make that clear
it depends if it starts to get really annoying then i would def start to do something unless you wanted to just leave it
up to you but i would as a good friend talk to her somehow
hope i helped good luck with future problems
xx sexygal7
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