A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I dated this girl for about two months then she decides we should break up. Her reason is that she just got out of her first hard break up with her first love. She tells me she needs some "me" time and I give it to her. After a week or so she starts wanting to hang out all the time and I stay with her almost every night, some nights she says one of her best friends is staying with her. It's been at least a month of us hanging out, going out on dates, and all the physical things that come in a relationship but she still doesn't want to be boyfriend/girlfriend yet. She says it's not fair to me that she gets sad about her ex sometimes so we shouldn't be together yet. She is always telling me that she loves me and she wants to have a life with me and we make plans for a future all the time. So today her phone rings and she is in the bathroom so I look and its a guy I've never met or even heard about. After a few calls I pick it up and say she can't come to the phone and when he asks who I am I say her boyfriend and then he sat on the phone for a minute and hung up. I confronted her and she turns it back on me about how bad it was I answered her phone and I should trust her because she trusts me. Note she never gives me a straight answer about the guy. I look through her call list and she has been calling three different guys at night while I'm at work and they are calling her. She says they are just old friends and I should just trust her. Does this sound sketch to anyone else?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PsychicDove  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 Hi Dude,
Well, she is not cheating, she is just too attached to the past, perhaps dwelling in the past. And seems like any moment her ex would say something dramatic and she would wave you a farewell saying, I never called you my b/f did I?
Hmmm this relationship will cause emotional trauma and in the end you will end up losing your self-esteem. So just get out of this messy situation. People who try looking back sometimes do that with the intention of going back.
You don't want to spend the rest of your days worrying that your g/f might leave you any moment do you? Although if you have no problem with the constant emotional distress then fine.
She is taking you for granted if you asked me.
Take care okay?
Good Luck and Best Wishes
~PsychicDove
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