A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My gf of more than a year and I broke up in April, we each had a rebound and did our thing fr a month and a half. The reason for our break up she claimed she felt stuck and felt as if we were married (granted i felt the same way). Upon getting back together in May/June we began having bigger issues. She told me she would but never stopped talking to this other guy (her rebound)and feels though she should lie to me about it. Observing the abnormal subtleties of her mannerisms while with her, I had suspected her of talking to him while she was with me. I did some investigating and saw in her phone that she was indeed still talking to him. The stuff I saw was about making plans and small talk. When I confronted her about it she still felt the need to lie to me and when I called her out only then was she honest.. (I think) Anyways she apologized and said that shed stop...It never stopped, and she continued text him while she was with me. I had a chance to look and see the messages again and found one from him that read "can I see you tonight?" Upon seeing this I was furious and one can only assume the worst and that theyre booty calls. Then later she began deleting the messages between them as if she was hiding something. One night she sends me a text telling me shes going to bed early.. at 830. I knew she was full of shit and when I went to check out her place she was not home. When I confronted her she began to try and cover her lie with more lies saying she was with her friends. I was fortunate to talk with one of her friends about it and not only did she disconfirm her story but told me not to be a cat on a string.. WTF?? Apparently she accepted an invitation from some older guy to get drinks but it was "nothing bad". Anyways despite all of this I was still trying to make it work. Now just recently my gf and I were taking a vacation and on the drive out she was being suspicious with her phone again. I got to see it and they were STILL talking. She talks to him then instantaneously deletes the messages but claims to have not seen him since we broke up in May. I was able to catch one talking about going to a bar. Now i'm sitting here facing the possibility of never being able to trust the one I love again. Shes 21 im 24 weve been together for a while now. My question at this point is do you think she is cheating on me? why would she do it??? Is this a salvageable situation? I still love her and know she still cares for me.
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (2 August 2012):
I'm sorry, but there is no saving this. Your girlfriend does not value you or the relationship, so she will continue to do whatever she wants behind your back. If she lies and you cannot trust her, which are both clearly the case, then there is no hope.
I speak from experience, having been through a divorce. My ex-wife acted in the same way. Believe me, there's nothing wrong with you and you aren't going crazy or imagining things. She is cheating.
My advice is to end it with her. The faster you move on and get this all behind you, the quicker you an begin to heal and move forward.
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 August 2012):
 You have confronted her HOW many times and she keeps doing it? Sorry, honey she isn't going to stop. And she knows all she has to do is feed you some bullshit excuse and you will STILL be there for her.
Sorry, I think she is emotionally detached from you and attached to him.
She may not physically cheat with him, but she is cheating emotionally with him.
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