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male
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*ecentguy1
writes:I broke up with my girlfriend last week. I'm in my 30's, she's in her 20's. We both love each other, and have been together 5 years. I ended it because she seemed unsure of what to do... I went home for memorial day and didn't phone her for 4 days... tuesday, she phoned me at 2:30 am 4x in a row, but got my machine.. I called her the next day to see what was up and she said she was at her friends house late, watching TV and didn't want to stay over so she thought she'd come stay with me...she never has done that, and she doesn't stay out till 2:30... but she told me that early during the weekend, she was lonely, and sad without me....okay, she asks me to dinner friday, i say ok.. she is happy to see me, we have a nice dinner. then she leaves at 10.... No talk about the weekend, except she says she is working. Well, long story short, she has a myspace page. She said she was working with her friend Sam on sunday, all day, late.Well, "sam" had posted a comment on her page at 5:33and said "how are you? hope you had a nice day! " so i called her and asked her about it...she didn't respond and said she'd call back.....I know I broke up with her, but is she cheating? Or am I being paranoid....should I just tell her I want to marry her, and go on with it?? I feel like I've lost my ground, and look stupid and desperate calling her etc.What do I do? not call, disappear? will this make her miss me? I don't want her out of my life, but I don't know how to make her miss methanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): You didn't call her for 4 days? Then you are not answering your phone at 2:30. It could all be pretty innocent, but it sounds like she might have been wondering if you are cheating. She feels hurt and tries to act like you aren't that important to her. BTW, why weren't you available to talk to your GF for five years at 2:30 am?
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (5 June 2007):
 Hi decentguy
I think what you need right now is to relax and give this a thought before you continue with everything that makes you feel stupid. You brokeup with her because she doesn’t know what she wants so do you think is marriage she wants? You guys have broken up why do you care what she does on her own time? She owes you nothing and ofcourse she cannot be cheating on you if she is indeed seeing someone.
make-up your mind i think currently you are the one who doesnt know what he wants. and whatever you do, dont propose marriage to her because you feel insecure. i dont know why you say you want her to miss you because the girl calls you at 2am because she was missing u and wanted to be with u isnt that enough to free yourself from worries. my guess is you are just looking for problems where the aint any.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): You want to make her miss you well love your going the wrong way about it.....YOU FINISHED WITH HER!!!! how could she now be cheating... and going through her private thing i.e her myspace which is so called because it is just that. (herspace) isnt going to help either of you, she will feel betrayed, I no thats how you feel at the mo but you didnt phone her for 4 days then when she tryed to phone you she got nothing. and then when she said she missed you and was at her friends and not wanting to stay over there wanted to come to you. You question why she was out till 2-30 as this is unusual for her you just finished a five yr relationship she may need a friend right now. And you say it was because she was unsure what to do!!!! you dont say about what, and yes sam her friend may not have seen her.... but then also sam may have been inquiring how she was as she may have been upset due to the breakup and sam may have just been asking her if she had a nice day at work. you really need to be open and honest with each other now after five yrs... surely this is possible if your thinking of asking her to marry you, but love it sounds to me as if your asking her just to keep things the way you want in a kind of matter of fact way. "oh well this has all gone tits up i may as well get it out the way and marry her" She already told you she missed you hun. You really need to both sit and talk like adults with no accusations start again on friendly terms and be nice and show her how much you care then you may realise you havent got to make her miss you she will because your both are being honest and the trust will hopefully return for you both, if this relationship does end up being over then at least you will no in your heart you did the right thing good luck and take care xx
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