A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Yeah, I'm a 25 years old guy working as an architect, ambitious and I love what I do. Always recommended by higher managers, you can say that I make good money compared to a new starter, and receiving better job opportunities from other companies. I've been in a serious relation with a beautiful girl of my age, we've been together for almost 3 years, she is smart, honest, loyal, well-educated, ambitious, outgoing, she is just beautiful. Our story was based on true love where each of us gives their love unconditionally, we had our ups and downs but we managed it since we both pictured a promising future for us, since we have every needed tool for this life, education, good looking, good jobs, future plans and the love between us. We always believed that we can achieve everything we dream about together. We are best friends, lovers and understanding for each other, believe me this description is her opinion too. Just one month ago I was thinking of proposing to her and I searched the market for a perfect ring for her, as it was planned to get engaged and then married during the next months. I arranged everything and I managed to save money to cover all the expanses. At that time she got graduated and found herself a job and she asked me to slow down because she needs to focus on her career at least for few months. It was okay with me and even proud of her being successful, supported her and Understood her situation. Two weeks ago she told me that a rich guy, a really loaded one showed her that he is interested to start a relation with her, he is older than us by 20 years! He knew her through work's meetings, and he is offering her what every girl has ever dreamt about, a managerial position, a high salary, a luxurious life style since he owns a good business and good connections, simply he has the wealth and power. We were both shocked! Never expected such a thing to happen to us, and she has to give him an answer shortly. Shes trapped between choosing me for love and a good future or choosing him to guarantee a perfect life she's always dreamt of! I was supporting and listened to her, and appreciated her honesty. I even discussed with her all the options even it was killing me inside, I know she loves me and dont want to hurt me, but she is trapped! Actually I dunno what to do? Im afraid of losing her and shocked at the same time that she's even thinking about comparing our relation with the offer she got! I cant imagine any man touches her or to take my place. She said she needs sometime to think, but I can see that she adopted the idea! With time passing she is getting convinced. What can I do at such a situation? I see that she is going to sell me out and all our dreams and plans for money!! I dont want to see her got hurt, she is everything to me, I believe that he wants her for her beauty and youth, she is blinded now! and that she will regret this soon. She is irreplaceable to me while he can replace her anytime! She said that if she were single she would accept him, and that its not age what is stopping her, What can I do to save this relation?
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ambition, best friend, engaged, money, trapped Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2013): She's not 'trapped' at all. She has every freedom to say no and to work hard fairly to earn the career that she feels that she deserves in a moral and just manner. And from what you say, there's no reason why she wouldn't achieve this on her own account.She has been given an ‘opportunity’ to cheat the system by effectively selling her soul. And to also sell out her lover of 3 years. The fact that she'd seriously consider this (beyond laughing off the initial surprise and dreaming a wee while about the immoral easy money with you!) should tell you enough to recognise that she is fickle and insincere in her relationship with you. At best she is a 'fair-weather friend' but would not stay with you if you fell on hard times or as an opportunity for better wealth presented itself, as now.I think you need to have enough self-respect to leave her without waiting for her to physically walk out on you. Her leaning towards leaving you in these circumstances tell you enough that a relationship between you will never be real.I'm so sorry that this has fallen on you- but you are far better to learn this now that after starting a family with her.Best foot forward and know that you deserve better.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2013): Sleeping with the boss for a job is shallow no matter someone excuses it.
Being female is no excuse either. Not in 2013. That was understandable for women in older times because women did not have the rights to education and job opportunities that men had back then.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (27 April 2013):
 she is being shallow. she is basically about to sleep with the boss to get better pay. she may as well be a prostitute!
Tell your girlfriend what you've told us about how she is irreplaceable to you, but not to him. I think you should do your best to fight for her. If she still chooses her dream life over you, then she never really loved you in the first place.
I wish you well, good luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): You say she is loyal but she is not. You have to let her do whst she's got to do - if it includes making a Faustian pact with this sugar daddy, more fool her, you have an insight into her character. This will free you to find someone more worthy of your love. She will realuee her mistake once it's too late. But you, you have to keep your self respect and let her go with your best wishes.
Good luck
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