A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I just moved in together a few months ago. We had lived together before at his dad's, but this was our first place on our own. Ever since we moved in, he has been sleeping on the couch unless I beg him - then he is mad he has to sleep with me. At first he said it was the bed - so I got a really comfortable topper. Then we moved our dog in (we already had a cat) and we had to keep them separated so he stayed with the dog on the couch. Now the pets get along...bed is comfy...but he still won't come to bed. It's a different excuse every night, and whenever I ask he snaps at me. He says he loves me and that it has nothing to do with me...but I am the only common denominator. What does this mean?? Is our marriage doomed before it starts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): You need to talk to him, ask him why he doesn't want to sleep with you and whether he thinks sex is an important part of marriage. It could be that he is scared to go onto the deeper level of marriage and is having doubts about the future, but if he is, you need to know, and if it is something else, you need to know too.
I hope it works out for you.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 I would rethink marriage. If a husband cannot be intimate with his wife, a whole barrage of emotional problems may follow. He needs to think about this relationship and what he wants. If he cannot show you his love with affection and closeness, the marriage is indeed doomed. So talk to him and make sure that he is ready for this.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, nightshade41 +, writes (6 October 2010):
well you can talk to him about it. maybe you snore or toss too much and it disturbs his sleep. I do both, once in a while my arms flail and I bump her she use to bitch about it all so I started to sleep on couch. then she started to bitch about me being on the couch all the time. I cannot win
By the way she snores also. she would start snoring and wake herself before I even fall asleep. Of course, I would get yelled at for that too.
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