A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, this is kind of long. I've been best friends with this guy since 8th grade. We've dated a few times in 9th grade, but we were both immature and whatnot. As time went on he had to move away, but I've stayed in the same place. I still had feelings for him as did he. Of course he dated other girls while he was there but I didn't date anyone because none of them were good enough to me. Then I had to move to another place. (We're both military brats) Of course he moves back while I have to move across the ocean. I dated a guy here but things didn't work out because I STILL had feelings for him, and he felt the same way. He's dating someone now and they've been dating for a long time. I think at least a year, but the messed up thing he told me early on in their relationship was he'd always have feelings for me. That gave me false hope. I thought he would wait for me. I told him how I felt and all he could tell me was he hopes I could find someone better than him. It kills me that I haven't gotten over him. I'm still friends with him, but I don't really think I should be. We're not that close anymore, and his girlfriend pretty much hates it when he talks to me. It will never be the same, so should I just close this chapter in my life and not be friends with him? We've been through so much.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): OP here. Thanks for taking the time to read my long question. The situation sucks, but I'll think about it for a while..I really do care for him, but I think the friendship isn't the same, and it's hurting me. I don't want to let go, but I'm sick of hurting and thinking about what could have been. I know for a fact that if i wouldn't have moved we would have been together. He even said the same. I seriously need to move on though. Thanks again.
A
male
reader, brit473  +, writes (10 April 2011):
Guess it depends on how much you care for him in an altruistic way, Hon. I mean would it harm his life if you acted on your feelings? Do you care enough to let him go? His partner may mean nothing to you, but she's a woman with feelings just like you, and hasn't done anything wrong really. Babe think hard, imagine the end result- would you be deliriously happy together or would the turmoil be too much? How much is Reality and how much wishful? This is like talking to myself! I'm forces brat too, and am ex navy, ex air force and now prison officer. Been in love with Lauren since I was 17 and though she knows, she's happily with a guy. same boat, see? [email address blocked]
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