A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i really need advice for my question. Basically, I have a 2 month old son with a man, my ex, who I am not in a relationship with. However, he is a very good dad to my son. Unfortunately, me and him do not get on and argue when we are together which is not good for the baby. So we have decided that every other weekend my ex can have our baby at his place for the whole weekend. This gives him the chance to bond with our son and me the chance to catch up on sleep and sort out my flat etc (at the moment im finding it difficult to keep on top of everything with only 4 hours sleep a night as my son is very demanding)! The problem is, my family think that this is a bad idea because my son is too young to be parted from his mum for that amount of time. However, I think that its probably best for my son to get used to having a mum and dad who live apart from an early age. My dad was particularly nasty saying that I am just palming him off. This is not true, I am just letting him spend time with his dad. So I would appreciate advice from you, especially mums, on what to do in my situation. Of course I know Im going to miss my son when he stays at his dads but on the other hand I want him to grow up knowing his dad and for them to develop a bond. Im hurt that my family think that Im palming him off but, more to the point, I worried that this will be damaging in some way to my baby. What do you think?
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female
reader, busy04  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 You're the mother & the father is the father...point blank.
As long as you both are comfortable with the choices that you make for your son, then that's what matters. Don't let anyone dictate to you what should be done between you, your child & your child's father.
I think that you're thinking correct in allowing the baby to spend time away, after all that is his father & from you've said, he's obviously a good one, it's great that he's even involved with his child. And to not let him see his son would do more damage than good, regardless of what your family thinks.
Keep doing what you both are doing...parenting :)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 June 2010):
Oh yes, it's the best thing. Trust me when I say that you're making the right decision in allowing the baby to go away every other weekend. Because if you didn't, you'd either end up in court and wind up potentially losing even more time (rather than just every other weekend, you'd lose a few days in the week), or worse your baby would grow up and resent you and your family for not allowing time. I actually think your parents are being nasty because they can't handle the fact that your baby is going to see its father. Your baby will be completely fine, and will grow up with a very healthy bond with his father. You must not allow your parents to influence your own judgement. Your judgement has been totally correct. Their judgement is the kind of judgement that would end up with you losing even more time with your son. Stick with the arrangement you have, and don't be bullied.
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