A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:HELP......I feel i am going mad or is it me being unreasonable. My partner of 8 months has many female friends. In the last couple of weeks one has been to his flat (apparently she is in a committed relationship), i was not allowed to meet her, he says it is too early, then last night he told me he is taking his ex (20 years older than him but was going to marry her...he pulled out) to dinner for her birthday.....i feel he is being disrespectful and not considering my feelings. I suggested i go along and meet her....he says they couldnt talk if i was there. We are going away from saturday until monday but i feel hurt and pushed out.....should i feel like this.also due to an illness he has had....we havnt been intimate and he hasnt shown me any affection for the last 4 months. I have thoroughly understood but only feel like a friend at the moment. He never stays over at mine ( i have two small dogs so cannot stay at his). When he does have spare time he usually goes to his widowed mother whom i have met several times and does jobs. I am left alone at most bank holidays. He took his mother to a hotel couple weeks ago and they share a twin room.....i asked if i could go but he said his Mum wouldnt like that. He is 13 years younger than me but get on great mostly although he is very spoilt. We see each other 4 to 5 times a week and speak on the phone 2 to 3 times every day even when he away. I tend to cook a meal but very rarely go out....we had to cancel our holiday due to his illness.....he is fine now but still has 'lack of libido'.Am i flogging a dead horse or is the relationship worth pursuing.....we go on bike rides weather permitting ? He wont discuss feelings and this hurts. I feel he lacks emition. He says he loves being with me. I feel an emptiness right now.should i feel hurt he taking this woman out alone. ....says they want to remain just good friends?Maybe i am too sensitive.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 April 2016):
 Sweetie I think you should block his number so that he cannot contact you anymore. It was never a good relationship if he was always putting other girls before you and being sneaky. He was without a doubt hiding things fro, you. He wants you for company but it is clear that he does not want commitment with you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlthough we have split up.....my ex is ringing me....tells me he misses me....wants to see me as usual on a wednesday before work for a few minutes....call in for coffee and take me out for tea, days out and bike rides. I am confused...,what should i do...think? I am so sad....cant understand why we split anyway!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (2 April 2016):
Yes the end of a relationship is indeed sad, it does not mean that you need to be alone, spend time doing things you enjoy, hanging out with friends and making the most of your life, when you are ready to move on there are plenty of men out there who will treat you the way you deserve.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou both so much for confirming what i already seemed to know. He has decided quite out of the blue that he doesnt want any committment. I do feel gutted and feel i have wasted 8.5 months. I have been dumped at the drop of a hat. I realise he is selfish and now says he needs to go to his mother's 50 miles away every weekend to do jobs.....alarm bells. I guess i am better off alone sadly.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (1 April 2016):
I don't think you are being sensitive here at all, I think he is treating you very badly and being very disrespectful. If it was me I would not be putting up with this behavior.
It is okay for him to have female friends, however it is not okay for him to not allow you to meet them, to me that is disturbing and it would be a red flag warning that he is not being completely honest with you. He says it was to early for you to meet one of his female friends, but you have been with each other 8 months? Surely that is long enough for you to meet his friends, his behavior is really suspicious.
If my partner told me he was taking his ex out for dinner I would be furious, you know nothing about this woman, friends or not, if he was honest then he would invite you along, what would they have to talk about that you couldn't hear? Do you trust this guy as to me he sounds very dodgy! You say you are going away for two nights, who is paying for this break away? Does he do nice things for you? Treat you well?
Okay so he has had an illness and I cannot judge on that, however I am pretty sure even if he could not perform intimacy he can still show affection. There really is no excuse for this. He has been like this half off your relationship. It sounds like he is not in love with you at all, I am not sure why he is still with you as he is not acting like a boyfriend. Taking his mum to a hotel sounds dodgy as well. I am sorry but I would be more inclined to believe he had another woman at that hotel. He is not involving you in his life at all, it is like you are his secret surely you must see that?
He is quite a bit younger than you and maybe he needs to grow up and learn how to be a responsible adult in a relationship. When you see each other do you look after him? You say you cook for him, so why would he say no to a free meal. You say he is okay now but still does not want to be intimate with you, am sorry honey but it sounds like this guy is using you. He doesn't tell you he loves you, he won't talk about the relationship, just what are you getting out off this? I think you deserve much better.
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A
female
reader, Tann79  +, writes (1 April 2016):
Nope your not, it's a respect thing and I wouldn't be sticking around if he's always hanging with his ex and taking her out! Esp if there's no kids involved! In my opinion I'd be looking into finding out just who he took to that motel with him was it really his mom?
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