A
female
age
30-35,
*eil-san
writes:Hi, I know that this may sound like a little ordinary “a little girl in love with her teacher”…But I think that the case is “an older teacher in love with his student”.Allow me please to say that I love him like a girl loves his father. So, for me, he’s like my second father.But, the history starts like this (I’ll try to do tell this in a short way)I had some questions about odd things in one of our first class, and, well, he’s my chemistry teacher, so I asked him things like “How it feels when a person is drunk?”He answered, and plus he said “You’re kind of weird”And, well, always, when I finished my activities I was seeing close to him talking to him about our lives.But, something happened this Wednesday.I was talking with a friend, we were close to his desk and he suddenly appeared.My friend asked him “Why you said that Carol is strange?” (Yes, I like people to refer to me with my second name, oh, and this happened in our last English test, I think two or three weeks ago), he said quickly, “Because I like her, and that’s the way of tell her my feelings” (this is strange, so saying me “strange”), and, he ran away. So, I was shocked, I knew that between us there was a special bond, I mentioned before it, like a father and his daughter.But, here in Mexico, what he said may mean “Because I love her”.And, well… he was acting strange with me in the last days.He said that he liked my hands (I was using a pair of gloves and the day was sunny), and I also got from him some activities that I have not did (this might mean nothing, but he’s the kind of teacher that difficultly gives activities without reason), he says that I’m an excellent student, and he’s happy when I’m close to him.He’s obviously married, but he has not kids. I think that he only thinks that I’m the daughter he wish to have, or maybe I’m like a student that appears every five years.I only can love him like a father (my real father has his own problems, and they're many, so he can't take care of me and my old brother, and this teacher is always helping me with anything), and he’s such a sweet person with me, I think, he’s the only one who have said that likes my company (in his breaks he’s always lonely).I don’t know what to do, or how try sort out his confusion. My other friends are jumping to the wrong conclusion that I love him, but that’s false.I need sage advice, oh, and I know that if I start to love him like the man he is, our relationship won’t be a real thing. I hope you can help me with this... he's really important to me.
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female
reader, Neil-san +, writes (29 November 2008):
Neil-san is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, he's always talking to other girls, but I feel that I'm the one that he "likes more than the other girls".
And this is sometimes very suspicious to me because he smiles and laugh with me about silly things that I say or that I do.
And, well, he sometimes makes me feel like a stupid because he (sometimes) says things that really hurt, and I'm the one who tells him "Stop! This is hurting me, can you please stop?", and he say "Oh, sorry, it was only a joke", but the way he say sorry to me is with a really "sorry" from the bottom of his heart.
And he knows my brother, is his chemistry teacher (too), but my brother dislikes him.
And, I can remember, two weeks ago (friday) I was with my brother in the bus stop, and he walked in front of us, this wasn't suspicious for me, but when I was in a huge of the type "you're my brother and so and so and so" (obviously with my brother) he was walking again in front of us, he stopped and he was staring at me, he didn't watched my brother, and I knew he was staring at me because I felt him (it's kind of strange this, isn't it?), and he said "Julian, you love your sister too much" (brotherly love), and I said to him (because I knew that Julian dislikes him and I wanted him to go away, I must say I was nervous) "Why are you watching me?!", and he, like always, smiled and ran away.
Now, what do you think about this?? I know that if he loves me like another thing I must to keep a log distnce, but I insist, he's like my father and if I stop talking to him I start to feel remorse and I can't focus anymore during the day.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): hmmmmmmm this is definitely a tricky situation. And i understand it because my teacher is my father figure also. Its very easy to feel confused. Especially when ur real father is not there for you the way you would like just like my situation. Well it sounds to me like u r listening to ur friends way too much.. seriously dont listen to them because they dont understand how u feel. But in the same token as much as u trust this teacher alwayz just be careful because the way you have described him he sounds as though he may be looking at you as more than a daughter!!
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A
female
reader, babyphat1395  +, writes (29 November 2008):
 i definately agree with britt429. it does sound like he is trying to make it out to be more.
it is normal to think of a teacher as a mother/father figure, but sometimes the adult thinks more of her/his student then that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): I'm kinda in the same situation...only I WISH my teacher would say he likes me lol. He was my english teacher last year in 9th grade and omg I loved his class. He would constantly flirt, everytime he would walk by my desk he would rub his leg against me and just smile. Or sometimes he would touch my hair and I would start blushing. On Valentines day I even gave him a gift, which soon became the talk of the school...big mistake I made by getting him something. But anyways, Whenever we would see each other around campus, I guess we had this special look or spark because it sort of became distracting to the other teachers. They would look at me funny, especially the teachers that he talked to. I thought I meant something to him, he even got another teacher to raise my grade! It seemed like true love.
Well, that was last year...NOW this year he wont even look at me. It hurts me alot because even though he's married with two kids, I still love him. When I'm hanging out with my friends he'll walk RIGHT BY ME and not even look at me. I don't know what I did wrong, and I'm afraid to ask. I don't want to be rejected. As much as I want to pursue a relationship with him, I know I can't. Not only because he is 37 and I'm 15 but because he can lose his job...I don't want that to happen. It's beyond a crush, I know alot of things about him. His favorite baseball team, color, where he lives (don't wanna sound like a stalker lol), his kid's name's, hell I even know his wife's name and what she looks like lol. I gave him a nickname "Snuggle Muffin" lol. My feelings have really changed though, I'm not sure if he likes me still, I hope he does but I'm just really confused. And seeing him at school everyday doesn't help.
I wish you luck and from what you've said, if you only see him as a father figure then keep it at that. If you start to have strong feelings that may turn into love, then just be careful.
And to every girl who has a crush on her teacher, PLEASE whatever you do, DO NOT get him anything for Vanentines Day...it only leads to trouble. Trust me, I have been there and done that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): It all makes sense...a father figure because your own father is unavailable.
But, Honey...I think he may be coming from a different point of view than you are. It sounds as though he is "hitting on you!"
Please be very careful and don't get sucked into his game! You can get hurt both emotionally and physically!
Keep your distance and don't allow yourself to be alone with him! If he should ever make you feel uncomfortable, tell another adult!!!
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