A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my partner of 5 years is everything in a man i have ever wanted, he has very endearing qualities and treats me like a princess.Then 3 weeks ago i found out he was flirting with another women at work and he stated he did not sleep with her and never wanted to it was just an ego boost and made him feel good because our relationship has been stressful due to work and children committments, to be honest i think i believe him because we are never apart unless we are at work and he does not go out without me at evenings or at weekends.secondly i found out that he has been texting gay men which he found a site from sky tv he states he is embarrassed and ashamed and says he just got a kick out of winding them up and he is not gay! and has never met anyone and never wanted to. I made him have a full sexual health check and i did also and everything was fine thank god. Normally i am very open minded but this has completly shocked me and im having difficulty coming to terms with it. He has stated that he will change jobs have councelling and change his mobile to help me to come to terms with this . He said if he was gay he would have gone off with another man by now. We love each other dearly and i dont want to let him go. Is he just curious or is he gay? Please can someone advice me on what to do ASAP thanks
View related questions:
at work, flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Well I am a gay man, and if some "straght guy" was texting me I would think wow....he is really repressed. I would def reconsider going through with any major life decisions with him........he probably is in the closet, as most men are!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): thank you for ur responces firslty we are not together becos of children we dont have kids together. can you explain what you mean a bit better with both the replys you have sent ie DVI and britsh women im a bit confused
...............................
A
female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (21 May 2007):
Ok, from a female British person, the fact that he is getting some sort of kick out of the whole flirting with the woman thing might be A) to prove to himself he is indeed hetrosexual B) proof to you that he is the stereotypical man, flirting office stuff (think about how discreet he was with you about it) and C) the texting to the gay men thing, make sure you have your facts straight, is it gay men and the fact he is ashamed and embarrassed and tells you he is just 'taking the piss' is not something a hetrosexual man does or he is totally homophobic and hates people who are gay...you shouldn't either be in such a position to have your husband checked out either...if he wasn't interested in the scene then I know that any hetrosexual male would go for tests, estate agents can't even get single or divorced males to go for AIDS or HIV tests when they are trying to get a mortgage for a home...a big heart to heart with him is necessary. I understand you are best friends but you would expect your best friend to be able to tell you him/her anything and never be ashamed and always respect each others choices even if you don't like it, and you respectfully. Be his friend and help him out.
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (21 May 2007):
 It sounds like you've damaged his ego somehow. The problem may lie in how often you tell him that you care about him. When a guy treats a woman like a princess, he is putting her on a pedastool. The problem with this is when he does so, the woman, without realizing it, brushes off his efforts as if they were nothing important. It sounds like this is the case with your relationship. I would take his word at face value. He may not even be bi-curious. It really sounds like what your partner needs is simple: a huge ego boost, not to mention to feel like he's in a relationship instead of a commitment due to children. A lot of guys are saps at heart. Go up to him and kiss him like you're never going to see him again, or do something to remind him of the spark that ignited the flame which caused you two to get together in the first place.
Best wishes,
DV1
...............................
|
