A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My problem starts when i met this guy in a chat room which i frequent often,however after chatting a couple of times,things were starting to change,and we started to connect,of course he told me these feelings will get more serious ,which it did.Everything was going well,and he said he wanted me,and my color entice him,we made plans to meet,as the tension/passion was too much,however he did tell me he's possessive and i saw it as i couldn't talk to anyone in chat room anymore,however i still like the guy and want him,until i heard some things in the chat room about him,and some other women,he denies completely saying I'm the only one,no one know of our relationship,only my best friend,i got so mad that i left a message for him telling him he's a liar and a master at it too,we started arguing a lot,and he made me feel guilty,even when i did nothing wrong,he would accuse me of playing around or even flirting with the guys(honestly i sometimes did but only cuz i figured he wasn't serious) yet all the women in chat would send him kisses and stuff when he entered..now in the chat room there was a circle of frequent members who were all acquainted so words do get around,we both agreed there are issues to discuss,if we were together,but now I'm not sure ,i honestly think he's playing around but I had known him for a few mths at the time.we did exchange several letters of interest and we would (kiss and make up)..then i went offline..i couldn't take it no more,but i kept in contact with him.It has been 3 years now and I'm back online and we would chat often,this time i realized that the feelings are still there,strong as ever,he wants to come and see me,and wants something more...but I'm not sure if i want to,but my heart says different ..my question is if you liked someone miles away..but you know its impossible to be with that someone..yet you never met that person...but there is strong feelings....what would you do or would have done? knowing that you want that person ...but you know nothing about them ,only what they tell you..but yet you are weak,if the person says they feel the same and is willing to come to you..but you know its just impossible what would you do, i really love him,please advise me as soon as possible
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): You obviously have a lot of reservations about him and have never met him in all this time. He sounds very mixed up and you sound so lonely you would put up with things just to have a boyfriend. I am sure you are worth better than that.
Look elsewhere. Maybe one of these dating agencies where the guy contacts you if he is interested. Not just a chatroom, which people sometimes go on just to pass the time with no real intention of meeting anyone.
Is there some way you can meet someone without it being over the internet? Maybe join something local?
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 November 2008):
 You are so right Teacake. This has been going on for three years and you haven't met? How can you possibly love someone you haven't laid eyes on? We even have people on this site who go on and on about "dating" on the Internet, sheesh that's not what I call dating. Agreed...weird.
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (24 November 2008):
 I have yet to understand how people "love" people they have never met and are only words. You need to examine your projecting an ideal on a phantom person who exists in cyberland only - from what you said, you haven't met.
This is a very unstable man and I'm sorry to say, but you sound a little unstable as well if you take this as a real relationship. Its all words from strangers. I just don't get how people think they love someone they have never met. Weird.
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