A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiNow before I ask this question I know there will be a lot of people out there ready to jump in and say its just you or that's what parents do but I'm looking for some real advice.Me and my mom have always had a good relationship and seem to work well together however there seems to be a recurring trend that current foster placements have a affect on how we get on.One of our previous placements about 6 years ago was a nightmare through no fault of his own(it was later said he should have been placed with a family and went to a special care home) my mom who may have been depressed(our family has a history of depression) and who was defiantly stressed appeared to take out everything on me. On one occasion I mentioned that I couldn't find my bag to which she trashed my room and hit me, now I know your thinking what did I do before hand but that's just it, most of these events are unprovoked usually they happen after a disagreement with the current placement.After this placement left things settled down but again the next one came and similar things happened arguments out of nowhere and me not knowing what to do.Well recently I though I had hit jackpot, two lovely foster placements so I thoug great no more pointless arguments but no I'm wrong. Don't get me wrong they are lovely kids but lazy.Now at my house if my mom is out or away I step up cooking cleaning etc everything she does and even when she is around I will often make dinner or clean but more often than not if I don't Hoover when I did other things etc i get told I do nothing (bearing in mind no one else in the house lifts a finger) Now is it normal for a parent to take there anger out on a particular person or is it just mine, and does it seem slightly unreasonable? I know this is my side of the story but I would love some advice
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013): No this isn't healthy. This is abuse
It may be common but that doesn't mean its ok
I think she lashes out at you because you are the one constant person in her life.
Its not acceptable to hit anyone. If she walked up to a complete stranger and hit them she would get arrested on assault charges. So why should it be ok for her to hit you? It isn't.
She needs professional help to deal with her depression and anger in a better way than committing assault. If she cant handle the stress of foster placements then she shouldn't be in this line of work.
Next time she hits you, file a police report.
A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?]  +, writes (1 January 2013):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) You know that saying you hurt the ones you love the most? Well that's sort of what she's doing.. I don't think she necessarily means it, I'm not sure. When you're very angry you do stupid things and that's what has been happening. It may be the stress and depression getting to her and she just unleashed her wrath on you. If she hits you hard, I would tell her it bothers you and that she needs to quit it. But my mother does the same thing, and me and her are VERY close. She's like my best friend, I think she may be doing it because she is so close to you and feels like if she's angry she can take it out on you. Sometimes in these cases they think the only people that listen are those they care and love the most... which is family and their children. If it gets any more intense you need to consult with someone. I know you may not want her to get in trouble but if it escalates you need to call CPS. (Child protective services). But this is the last option, do the others before. God bless you.
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