A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is this guy kind of attracted to me?He's married, so I would never act on it. He's also not my type--he's too "suave/lady's man" flirts with every girl, etc. You know the type. Anyway, I would nevertheless be flattered if he thought of me that way because I don't feel very attractive. I'm about 15 pounds overweight, even though I've been working hard trying to lose it. In fact, he often gives me diet and exercise tips, which I appreciate, and occassionally (only when it's true,) he'll tell me I look good and he can tell I've lost a few pounds... The other thing is, he's good friends w/ my ex, and I actually wanna get back w/ my ex...which is safer territory because my ex is still single since our breakup and is a better guy. So I work w/ this guy (again--WOULD NEVER ACT ON THIS FOR SEVERAL REASONS SO DON'T WORRY, I'm genuinely just curious if his behavior indicates an attraction or if I'm reading too much into it like a school girl). He gave me a compliment on a dress I was wearing one day. I thanked him and said that another girl we work with--one who is a couple years younger and much skinnier and more attractive than me,) had the exact same one. He replied, "See? It's a nice one... you look better in it though." It surprised me he said that for two reasons. 1. He's like a politician, and it's unlike him to pick one coworker over the other in any way. He said it in the lunch room w/ ppl around too, and 2. bc of my size--I wear a size 8 and all of the popular, young pretty girls in the office are a size 0-4. On Thursday of this week we got to talking about shows. I was excitd to watch Idol and The Big Bang Theory. He suggested I get into the show Revenge. So Friday, he walked by my desk about 4 times w/out saying anything. My coworker was next to me all day. Then at the end of the day I came out of the bathroom and he happened to be behind me. He said, 'HEY!' so i backed up to talk to him a bit. He said, "I didn't see the show, but I taped it.." and I said, "oh good! so we can talk about it on Monday!" I just think it's kind of interesting to go home and think of me enough to set his dvr to record a show I recommended...It wouldn't have occurred to me to watch or tape the show he recommended to me... I'm 26 and currently weigh 160 lbs at my highest :-( though my weight fluctuates between 153-160. He's 30 or 31 and an unfaithful husband. His type is like 22, and the smaller the better.... Totally nothing I'd get involved with, but even if he just thinks of me a little I would consider it a great compliment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2012): Regardless if he is or not attracted to you- its a hands off and focus on work to the co worker.No lunches, no long talks, no goofing. Remain professional.Your character/reputation and Integrity should matter a great deal to you that even associating with this man should be repellant.Gossips abound especially in the work place. People have lost jobs due to untrue gossip.Stop caring and entertaining thoughts and hopes and it would be nice.It would be stupid.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (21 January 2012):
 Whether he is attracted to you or not you know he is married and has been unfaithful to his wife - by the way HOW do you know this? Do you kinow her, or has he told you, or have co-workers mentioned it?
Whatever the case may be, you appear to be thinking about him a fair amount and engaging in conversation with him. Your best bet is to cut WAY back on the chit-chat and just be polite. If he asks why you're being unfriendly just tell him you have work to do (which you do) and are busy. I wouldn't let on that you wonder about his motives, because he would probably deny it and that could be very embarrassing.
As for your ex boyfriend, maybe you would do better to stay away from him too, if this other man is friends with him. More to the point, presumably your relationship ended because there were problems and maybe friction. Unless the issues that caused the breakup in the first place have been resolved, it's not likely to go anywhere.
No, focus on your own goals - a size 8 hardly sounds overweight, but what do I know? So long as you are eating right, exercising and sleeping well, and following activities you enjoy outside of work, you will be just fine.
Remember: a person may not be what is considered "conventionally" pretty or handsome, but one's personality (kind, interested in others, smart, sense of humor,having a life and ideas, principles of her own etc.) can make a person very attractive........
Good luck
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