A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boss is 20 years older than I and he is married. I don't find him very attractive although he is a great guy to work for! Well... I have worked for him for about a year and it's strange cause he always says things that border on inappropriate, they don't make me uncomfortable enough to report him though. He often comments about how he thinks I am attractive and will kind of say it in a joking manner so I don't know if he is for real about it. When he does that I jokingly remind him he is married and he is always like man I keep forgetting I am married! He also has asked me for my personal number and was asking to take a picture of me on his cell phone. On another occassion he invited me to attend a sporting event with him but I don't know if he is just being friendly cause we get along great at work. I think he might like me/be attracted but I'm not sure if that is why he acts the way he does. I also get a vibe he isn't happy in his marriage if he is making comments like he forgets he is married. He never ever speaks of his wife either... only his children which I find strange, most men I know love talking of their wives. He has also mentioned the only time he is very happy is when with his kids so I think he is unhappy in his marriage. What do you think? I would not want to work around him if there is a chance he is attracted to me and is trying to pursue something. I am not interested in making some married man feel young again. I am just not sure what to think of him and if this is a weird position to keep myself in. Thanks for your help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): He's dipping his toes in the water to check the temperature. He's also hoping for a positive reaction from you, but as long as you make it quite clear to him that there's no way there's ever going to be anything other than work between you he should back off and keep his comments in his head. If you need to make your point any clearer, ask him what the procedure is for reporting sexual harassment.Phil
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (20 December 2007):
 Yes he is pursuing you, but without stepping over work boundaries. Just keep things professional. Be firm. He'll respect you ...and give up the pursuit...........eventually.Don't accept any invites. The slightest encouragement and things will get out of hand.Richard
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