A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has gone off to college and he is only an hour and a half away. my mom will not let me drive down there by myself at all. and there would be no point anyways because football is taking up everyday of the week. He has been there for a week now and he was calling me atleast 3 times a day to talk for atleast 15-30min. Well all of this has slowed down. He doesnt call me but for maybe 5mins and sometimes he doesnt call me at all. We have been dating for 3 years now and I am only a senior in high school. This is getting very hard for me because all I ask is to talk to him, but I feel like there are excusses instead of real situations. I will be going to a college next year that will only be about 45min away from him, but for this school year it is hard because I dont think he really understands how I feel and i cry about it all the time. He just gets mad and says I have to go. Will it get better?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Oh, this is so hard, isn't it? I think it will not get better, I'm sorry. The thing about starting university is that you get completely swamped with new people and classes and in his case, football and the practices. It's a whole new world and everything is new and exciting. You being clingy and weepy drags him back to the old world and sometimes people want to keep the two separate. He's still getting his feet underhim and figuring out how he fits in to his new world.
I'm sorry for you, because you have to go through this. Yes, I have known people who went to university who did wind up with their high school sweethearts, but it is very few.
The best thing you can do is to get yourself as busy as you can. And, this is going to be very hard for you, you should try not to speak to him everyday. Yes, that's right, let him wonder where you are and who you're with. If you're too available, he knows that he can count on you to be there always. He's too busy to speak for more than 5 minutes? Well, you're now too busy yourself. You have to give him the space and a bit of insecurity in order to have him understand how you're feeling.
I hope this helps, even though it's not a terribly positive answer.
Good luck, and I hope he comes around for you.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (19 August 2008):
 you both need to communicate with each other..with him starting college it is all new and interesting and if you say oh your not spending enough time with me he maybe feeling guilty and being angry instead to show that he just wants to explore college life..but i think you both need to talk to each other tell him you miss talking to him like before tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels..you need to figure out what the score is before you can see what the goal is to aim for..maybe its just him starting college and it may pass once it gets old but as i said talk with him tell him how you feel thats my opinion... good luck keep us updated aphex xx
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