A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my current boyfriend for a little over two years now, and we have been long distance since 2 weeks after we began dating. We saw each other regularly, but recently he moved further for school and were closer to 5 hours away from eachother without much hope of seeing eachother often because of my work and his school. The distance hasnt really been an issue as its defined our relationship since the beginning but recently ive been thinking about our relationship and wondering if its right anymore. Hes so busy and stressed out all the time with school that we talk maybe 20 minutes everyday/every other day and its usually about his life and school and i support him and help him work through his stresses, however though I dont actively talk about my life, he rarely takes a deep interest in whats going on with me and i feel he virtually has no idea what im doing ever. I try not to bring up stressful things to him such as how much i miss him and would like more attention because i know how much stress hes under already so he doesnt know that im questioning our relationship. I understand that school is most important and i am in no way mad at him for his dedication to school and busy-ness, but i feel like maybe he shouldnt be dating me right now since he is so busy. Beyond this lack of talking and distance theres other little things that I think may make us less compatible such as our differences in levels of affection wanted (I want a lot, and hes more chill about it) and handling of emotionally difficult times/situations.I am unsure if its right to continue our relationship but conflicted because I do love him and hes a great guy, but sometimes I feel like maybe not right for me anymore. I dont know if im settling or being selfish, im just really confused. Thanks for your help.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (28 October 2013):
 hi there.
it seems completely natural to be questioning the relationship at this moment, seeing as how i would certainly be feeling the same way if i were you. a few questions for you:
1. do you foresee yourself ever moving closer or moving in together in the near future? as in within the next year or so?
2. do you even see a potential future together?
after two years with someone, you should have a pretty good grasp of whether or not you have a future with them. if you can't ever see yourselves moving in together, or at least closer in distance within a reasonable time-frame, then i would say this is becoming a bit of a waste of time for you, as you could be single and wait til you find a guy who lives close by and can actually develop a potential future with.
and lastly, if you don't really even see you two together down the road, then this is definitely a time waster.
i have no doubt you care about this guy and love him. so i know it won't be easy to just move on and break up. however, it would be a shame to miss out on something great because you are stuck in a dead end relationship, ya know?
so if i were you, i would do a bit of introspection and see if you can't answer those questions for yourself about your relationship and then once you have answered them, you will know better on how to proceed.
good luck.
A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (28 October 2013):
 the reason why your content is because youre comfortable. from what you say i dont think things would work if you had to spend face to face time...youd probably not get along.
i used to prefer long distance because the communication over the phone was great. but then the few hrs/days we actually spent together was all about fighting and or pretending i was someone im not. thats why i shy away from ldrs now.
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