A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Ask Cupid, I've been married for 21 years. I was my husband's first lover. I had other experiences prior to marriage and have remained faithful. Our marriage has had its ups and downs-but we always find our way back to each other. Lately, he's been keeping secret things like putting prayers in paper,money issues are hidden(his mother gives him money0She encourages secrets big time. Anyways, After a fight my husband says we're not compatible and something about me ruining everything. He 's been in low paying jobs and I've maintained our home and have a lot of debt which I don't feel I got there on my own. He says I ruined everything!!! I wanted to sell years ago to get smaller home with less work needed. I just have a strong feeling since that something is going on, or was. He's with me only except for work-(new job)-but had under the table job for 4 months where being traced concerning time. Wanted my cell phone a couple of days-when place of employment phone SUPPOSEDLY NOT WORKING. DOING his own laundry-which I've been leaving for him SOMETIME!!! He seems distracted and far away.When I asked him(during the Spitzer news thing) if he would ever cheat on me-He said "why should I?" How would you perceive this situation?
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male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 It seems the relationship is disintegrating and has been for some time. Has it gone beyond repair - Maybe! You two need to react very quickly now to try and identify what seems to be many "Unresolved/unaddressed issues."
This is a situation where counselling is definately required. Whether you are both willing to go will tell you what stage you are at.
Good luck with it. Richard
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 March 2008):
 I wonder if he is going through some midlife crisis. The thing is if he really is up to something you will be the last to know, believe me I have been there.
Dont jump to conclusions though, it may be nothing to worry about. The best thing is to talk to him, and try to get out of him what is bothering him. If he wont open up then just give him a bit of space.
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