A
female
age
41-50,
*imbymoo
writes:here's my situation ive been trying to stay with my husband after the last screw up (internet cheating) but lately he doesnt want to cuddle snuggle we dont even have our almost daily quickies anymore ok so we have a 17 month old son so we have had to stop those because we dont need him to imitate us but even when my husband is home on weekend (he works 3rd shift) and babys asleep he doesnt seem at all interested in having that special moment heck he cant even get me off but i know that has something to do with being 30 weeks pregnant with twins its a little harder so i tell him i dont think im gonna go so we have our moment and very rarely will he cuddle afterwords i mean is he that unhappy hes willing to fool himself for certain reasons as we have twins due in a couple of weeks and the fact that i am a stay at home mom with no income of my own Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Well, there are many reasons that can be the cause of his issues. But the only way to know for sure is to open a dialogue with him - get to start talking about what the problem is. It may not be that he is 'unhappy' at all. He could be feeling pressure or stress from trying to figure out how best to support his growing family. The impending financial strain may be weighing heavily on his mind. When people get stressed, it manifests itself in many ways - and one of those ways is lack of sexual desire. When the mind is clouded with all the problems that the person is facing, sometimes the last thing they want to think about is sex. So that could be a reason.
The cheating? May also be associated with the issues you all are facing. He may not have set out to 'cheat' but moreso to find someone that 'takes him away' from his current problems. Of course, in most cases such as that it usually ends up turning sexual as the person is in a very vulnerable state and needs some sort of comfort (I am NOT condoning his behavior, just offering up a probable cause to his behavior).
So the best thing to do is start talking and start asking open-ended questions. For instance, instead of asking "are you unhappy", ask him "what is it about the relationship or current situation is making him unhappy"? That, he has to give you an answer instead of just answering yes or no.
Sorry I couldn't offer better assistance.
Hope this helps
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