A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:there has been two incidents (1) divorced friend and my hubby got chatting and laughing so much they ate even my salad at table(left with vinegar on plate) when asked what the chatting was about was told nothing, just nothing consequential.(both said that when asked. (2) Recently had contact with a cousin whose husband died 6 years ago, this is how it played out:my husband and I seemed okay and pleases to see her,about 2 days later we saw her and sister again,sitting at a table discussing what to eat,my loves food and never allows me to get for him but now I could, later the afternoon we all went to a casino, normally my husband does not leave my side, again he was around cousin and I was ignored,two nights later we all go for coffee and he smokes and he run out of cigarettes and he did not want to leave the table so I went and the sister came with me unfortunately the only place to get was at a bar area which he was even reluctant to go to,we get up to move to the cars and husband and cousin walk slowly behind sister and myself,I look at sister and say I am saying cherio and my husbands not here yet,sister says no they there behind you, I turn around and say to husband oh there you people are well come here and say goodbye to sister as we going now,he says oh but I said good by to cousin here it was darker there(it reminded me of when I was 16 and did not want someone to see me kiss my little boyfriend)months went by they came up for weekend and again walking to the eating house from car they ended up together walking away back from the rest of clan.They went on an outing for the day and asked us to go,I now as we had been to the same place not so long back but my husband all of a sudden thought we could go later(midday)(when I felt like going there it was a waste of money before)I asked what was going on he says he was being polite letting her just talk and he was just listening(he has manners)On leaving my husband was unable to kiss anyone could bye9as they were already in combi, so cousin shouted load to him "come give me a kiss,wait come and kiss me" sister said stop that they will hear,cousin says but he kisses me so nicely...Please give me your opinion on the above as my husband thinks I am seeing ghosts and if I dont like it he will be just rude and not speak to anyone in future. On both occasions it was nothing but I feel I am not getting the truth can anyone give me some advise on this we married a long timeI have no secrets from him at all and I seem to think I am not good enough now for him so please can someone give light on the topic,how should I approach this because he denies any wrong doing0
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): Mam oh man, your hubby has what you call, old man phobia syndrome, he is getting attention from other females, at his age, and he is going out of his way to take advantage of the situation(even though you there with him, makes no diff)the adrenaline rush, gives him confidence(no care attitude)to treat you in that matter,thinking only of himself,doing the flirtations,chatting in more of a whisper(that is dangerous),after that it goes further, if that is what both want. Yes,if its on odd occasions,with the same female,yea, I would think they both were trying to see how far each would go with the whole scenario, no doubt about it. Both were playing a dangerous game,fun,fun,sh*t comes back big time!!!Sorry to say to you the other lost female was doing the same as first female, discussed,and husband was enjoying the attention. He did not need you on the various times as he was getting the other attention he so wants,I loved every bit of it,that's why he went back each time possible.Take this from a man,don't deny..truth?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Don't cry now when being accused, okay, as you were having a bit of stolen fun, at the time, was your wife taken into consideration,no, hey, as you and flossy,had one thing on your minds....how you going to get out of this, love to know....its men like you who make females distrust even good fellows.
What female,does this and a family,and then gets into you, she is no better,than a sl#t,(comes way down the food chain) you both scum bags....do you two suit one another? and if Yes,are you both wanting to move on into the sunset together or were you both just plain selfish and got so carried that you forgot his wife was in the same party,I hope she eats you up for breakfast as that is realy beyond low!!!! Girl take no bull from husband if he does the crime he must spill the beans. Full story or he lives under your conditions...your turn to eat it up, not nice when you on the receiving side,Keep your pants on,your flossy is just a man eater,you fool, wife seems to love appreciate and evan asking for advise.I hope my advise helps husband!!I pray he does,be stronger,if weak,why not given attention to wife, but flossy better deal,hey,(every ocassion pairing up, no excuse,my thinking you were going to go further into the game plan but your wife does she know that,speak out now!!!! no bull,okay she deserves at least that much,okay do the right thing here, this you can not hide away it comes out, then its worse,I hope you guys can work through this mess husband and flossy did,without what the outcome would be.hurt you sorry girl.... GodBless
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Well the set up here does not seen right girl, he has to justify every little incident from the beginning to the end as its not a pretty picture especially from your side. Why do we have to put up with men treating females in such despicable behavior, nobody deserves that, really. Give him what he gave you and see if he will take that S#*T.
Another thing does he really love and respect...I cant see it. Ask yourself would you except the goings on if he was a boyfriend, hell no you would have sent him in his glory after the first evening. Bud, don't take your marriage lightly and flirting and getting too cosy with the opposite does not pay off as it leads to bigger things(not worth it).Shame on you how could you do this in front of your wife,that shows no respect so that one word is off your sentence of all the denying the set up, giving the bullsh#*t hoping she will fall for it . Well I would like to hear how you going to get out of this one, you better be a smooth talker or lets hope you wife is more stupid than you think, otherwise your neck is in the sling.(my husband thought it was fun,I know exactly how you feel, been in the same boat, anyway the trust and spontaneous love as before takes along time to be put back in place, just so man must try a different diet at the cost of our lives) God Bless and may you all put things right asap, good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): I am sorry for whats going on with you, you feel unloved and pushed out like carbage but look in the mirror and you say to yourself you fight for what you want you want by showing your husband,what he will miss out of, go for it girl no harm in fighting for attention. Get smart and look your best and show him what you are all about.
Your husband must come clean and tell you all the gory details and "consequential" conversations does not do it for me.....whats he hiding.....sounds like he is starting to think having his bread,butter and jam fits the bill. please give credit where credit is dew, she obviously is madly in love with you so whats the problem, do you think you're little light flings(don't always stay there,hey), don't hurt your wife, think again,...in front of her!!!!(who does that..someone who seems to think its greener on the other side. Beleive me I can kick myself because I did what you did and I played along for the fun and today I want to get back to my wife like we were.
No,a BIG NO, mate, that is wrong thinking.......and with one sauced out..its flirting with other attentions, who knows, only you would be able to answer this,so come on and shed light on the whole ugly set up and clean the air and start from now showing a bit of appreciation and give her love,attention and compliments. When you go out dont ignore her(like you ashamed of her)embrace and cuddle so people can see you into each other and you wont be able to in the same senario,(thats if it is not your fault but the person in question who lured you into your web) unless your husband has no more feelings towards you and he is not cabable to admit it to you(men like this can be cowards)and this might be his way of showing he wants out. I am discussed about the fact you were give a sauce for salad to me the converstion was not so much"consquencial"..where was his mind going...you were not given a thought of there.....sorry girl, I would have been hurt to.
Sorry again for the situation but I am sure you wll be able to work it out if he truely leaves his crap alone GOOD LUCK
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): I am not sure about this but to me your husband seems to treat you without respect and has hurt you no man should do that to his wife especially not in front of others even if its family,friends they not that close to you he is just playing the field he does not know how or does not want to relies the impact it has on any marriage but in front of you that is so wrong surely going out together you want people to see you love each other and not have the onlookers repeat this as its not a likable picture. I hope he stays away from bad elements or you should tell him, not good for a good relations be honest and learn to relate to each others feeling but yes he does seem to be infatuated and probably curious to see what the other side has to offer..make him tell the truth from his feelings and what thoughts was going through his head,any communication thats been taken sence seen them,e-mail/cell/sms,basically he must not beat about the bush and come clean now and then take it from there. Good luck I hope it works out don't give up on your marriage....hopefully he will come around...for husband; get a wake up call man what the hell are you thinking buddy
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 I'm sorry, your post is very unreadable, I can't understand what you are saying.
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