A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is 34 and we have been together for 4 years and we have a baby boy,for the past 2 years i have caught him on gay websites many times!and he allways say he hasnt been on them..I know he has. he is gay. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): You should sit down and have a good talk saying that you will not be angry and that you'd just like the truth. It doesn't mean he's gay, he could be bi or even just curious! I know i have been curious before but Im not a lesbian at all. It wasnt because I was unsatisfied with my boyfriend either. For unknown reasons people just get curious about these things, its obvious he's attracted to women or he wouldnt of had a baby with you. Tell him theres no need to deny something you KNOW has happened because you have proof. If he tells you hes bi then you have to decide what you want to do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): You should sit down and have a good talk saying that you will not be angry and that you'd just like the truth. It doesn't mean he's gay, he could be bi or even just curious! I know i have been curious before but Im not a lesbian at all. It wasnt because I was unsatisfied with my boyfriend either. For unknown reasons people just get curious about these things, its obvious he's attracted to women or he wouldnt of had a baby with you. Tell him theres no need to deny something you KNOW has happened because you have proof. If he tells you hes bi then you have to decide what you want to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): Sorry to hear that. You mingt find this link usefull
http://www.voy.com/86426/
Hope you have the chance to really talk to him about this.
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A
female
reader, allenrobin  +, writes (2 April 2008):
 Maybe he denies it because he is afraid of what you and others will say, think, or do regarding it. A lot of people
whom are gay get it in their head that they "must" do the "right" thing that is expected of them such as get married to the opposite sex and have a family because they have been conditioned to think something is "Wrong" with them. Being gay is not a choice and so they end up trying to fight their own personl needs and desires, which is a losing battle. That is not to say that he does not love you or his child. It also does not make him more prone to sexual abuse towards his offspring. It simply means that he has not felt or realised he needs to be true to himself, and that he is afraid (and with hate crimes against gays like they are,you cannot blame him)of what will happen. My question to you would be "Do you love him?". If you really love him then help him. Talk to him and tell him it's ok that you need to know the truth, not because you want to harm his realationship with his son but because you want to be there for him. I personally have seen a few people in your shoes and they have become better friends and parents once everything was in the open so to speak. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): When a spouse looks at porn, it is because they feel they are not getting quality attention from their spouse.
When a spouse begins to make assumptions as you have, and if your wrong, you then have broken his trust, and the marriage will begin to crumble.
My wife got the bright idea that because my brother got a divorce, so would I. After 2 years of turmoil and hell from this, I am considering divorce, because she has the same dumb mindset that she is free to think what she wants. I can not live with what appears to be my enemy: working against me. This might be what you doing. So before you end making him hate you, I suggest you confront him and ask.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (2 April 2008):
 i'm assuming the last sentence was meant to read "Is he gay" otherwise I dunno how to answer this post lol.
But to be honest, I cant say for definite of course because I am not your husband, but yes i would think he is at least bisexual. The part that makes me think that is "and he allways say he hasnt been on them.." normally I would say it may just be curiosity but if he's been doing it for a few years, its obviously not just a passing phase and the fact that he is hiding it from you and denying it even after he has been caught makes me think there is more to it than just natural curiosity.
You should talk to him calmly and tell him you have seen it on the computers history so you know he has been on them and you want to know why and whats going on with him.
take care
Brooke
x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 April 2008):
 Are you asking whether we think he is gay because he views gay porn or are you saying he is gay?
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