A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found my husband has been looking at gay porn. He also looks at regular porn... more than the gay. The regular doesn't bother me, I'm open to a lot but this has me totally freaked! Is he bi? Is there anyway a straight man would view this? Please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2017): Take it from a guy who has been married and loves everything about hetero sex and relationships, but who has also been pre-occupied at times with the fantasy of enjoying the pleasure that a cock might bring: your husband gets off imagining he is in those gay porn videos. Whether or not he has taking further to participating is possibly a matter of time. In my case, I had to find out what is was like, and finally gave into my desires with several men only to find out that I enjoyed the fantasy much more than the act. I still fantasize about it but am no longer compelled to act. However, some guys find that they prefer cock after exploring their curiousity. Where your husband falls on this spectrum is only something you and he can determine.
But make no mistake: if he is watching gay porn, he is lusting for cock and/or man-pussy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2017): I think you should accept his explanation. Like I said; he may have watched out of curiosity and for no other reason.
I stand by the opinion that this is inconclusive evidence; because porn sites have all sorts of junk on them. Just because you look doesn't mean you're gay, bi, or interested in doing animals. Sites are rigged so everything under the sun will pop-up; or even hi-jack your screen attached to a virus.
Give him benefit of the doubt. He confessed he watched out of curiosity.
I'm gay, and I have straight married-male friends. They are not the least interested in me sexually. Does it mean they're gay or bi; because we're friends? Well some homophobic people jump to that conclusion.
It took courage to bring it up. I commend you. I'm glad you addressed it. I hope you feel better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 September 2017):
 I know women who watch lesbian porn who are pretty much as straight as you can get. The reasoning for that choice of porn (because yeah, I asked) is that WOMEN and WOMEN's pleasure is the ONLY focus, it's not demanding to women, there is no "let me assert my male dominance over you" and it's often a lot less graphic - their words not mine. So I get the curiosity.
I'm SURE men "doing" men look different than men "doing" women or women "doing" women. MEN know what other men (in general) like just as WOMEN know what other women like (sexually).
Doesn't make him a closet gay or even bisexual. It makes him curious. Kind of like looking in the windows of an Amish farmstead when you come from NY. (something VERY different than what you see/do normally).
Now if ALL he watches is gay porn there might be fire where there is smoke but having watched a couple or 10 of them doesn't DEFINE his sexuality.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your input! So last night I didn't have the courage to ask him right out, I said my girlfriend had this 'problem' with her husband. He said he didn't think he was bi unless he watched it on a regular basis. Which my husband doesn't.. just a couple times that I've seen. Mixed in with regular stuff. Then he said he's watched it before and when I said really?? Why?? He said just curious. Wanna see what they are doing. That to me sounds suspicious but I will add I have NEVER gotten a feeling in any other way that he has any attraction toward men
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your input! So last night I didn't have the courage to ask him right out, I said my girlfriend had this 'problem' with her husband. He said he didn't think he was bi unless he watched it on a regular basis. Which my husband doesn't.. just a couple times that I've seen. Mixed in with regular stuff. Then he said he's watched it before and when I said really?? Why?? He said just curious. Wanna see what they are doing. That to me sounds suspicious but I will add I have NEVER gotten a feeling in any other way that he has any attraction toward men
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2017): That doesn't mean at all he is gay or even bi. Some men look out of curiousity, others to see how they fair in size comparition. Also let us face it, some of those so called shemales or transexuals on the internet have turned themselves into such beautiful females look alikes via hormons and breast plant surgery, you just can't resist looking at them. I don't think you should worry unless you have other reasons to doubt his sexuality, you husband is simply very sensual man in my opinion.
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A
male
reader, Phil052  +, writes (15 September 2017):
 Sexuality is fluid, there is a whole spectrum of behaviours and desires out there. It's not black and white - straight or gay or bisexual. He may well be bi-curious, but this doesn't mean he is going to act on his curiosity. If you are going to ask him, you need to think about how you would react to a response he may give, as his response could be anything, flat denial, to curiosity, to admitting he is attracted to men. It's up to you as to whether you want to confront him or not, but bear in mind his response may not be the full truth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2017): When you say gay-porn, I assume you mean men having sex with men?
It's easier to determine a person's sexual-orientation by asking them; or having solid-evidence by being an eye-witness to seeing them perform a sexual-act with someone of the same-sex. Otherwise; it's inconclusive.
He may like watching men having sex with each other; without ever engaging in the act himself. So if he finds pleasure in watching, lets presume he is bisexual. What does that mean for you?
For your peace of mind, and to get to the truth; you'll have to gather the courage to ask him. That's the only way you will know for sure. My guess is he will deny it. You will have to show him what you've found before he deletes it.
He could always say it popped-up by accident whenever he accessed a porn site.
Gay and straight porn are accessible on the same porn sites. Things will pop-up on screen that was not purposely accessed; because they are rigged with cookies and viruses. If you search under a general-term like "anal-sex;" it will bring-up everything related. Curious people might linger too long; and even more videos will be provided or pop-up. You don't have to purposely thumbnail them; they will appear!!!
You're his wife, and you have a right to know. The problem is we can't make him admit it, if he is. We can only speculate. How can a group of strangers who've never met your husband or seen any evidence; tell you if your husband is bisexual?
It's safe to say, it is highly suspicious; based on what you said you've seen. That's a conclusion you'll have to come to; based on what little evidence you have. He's your husband, and only you can be the judge.
I'm gay, and I will say what you've found is incriminating; but insufficient-evidence to determine if he is bisexual, or just watches out of twisted-curiosity.
He'll have a hard time explaining it for sure!
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